Hai?

HEY.  I haven't blogged here in So! FREAKING! LONG!  Wow.  Basically, I've been incredibly busy and stressed out in this way that tends to create a stress loop, which really sucks.  I spend a lot of time just being stressed and a lot of energy on freaking out, but I don't spend enough time actually doing the things that maybe have a chance at alleviating the stress.  So.  That's a thing.  Also, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, spending a lot of time freaking out about that.  I'm pretty sure that industrial design isn't quite right for me, but now I'm questioning if any kind of design is what I want to be doing.  Do I actually want to design?  Do I love designing, or do I love design and designers?  Those are distinctly different things.

I saw james bond today.  There was a lot of shirtless daniel craig and for an old guy, he's really hot.

I'm probably going to get grades that are bad enough that they won't keep up my scholarship, which would suck.   I mean, it's not a huge scholarship or anything, but I would rather have it than not have it, you know?  I don't know if they give you a semester to raise your grades back up or what.

I'm going to die sad and alone.  Whatever.

For this summer, it looks like I'm going to try to get an internship, and if that doesn't work, I might go on this school trip to the dominican republic, or I might take a writing workshop at WMU and then also work at the library and make prints all the time and write all the time.  That doesn't seem like that bad of a situation to be in, even if it was after I'm done with school.  Working at the library and writing and making prints?  NOT BAD.  Or I could work at a coffeeshop (Sparrows) and become Rebecca Green.  Because surely, what made Rebecca Green awesome was working at Sparrows.*

I also have kind of plans to eat paleo/slow carb ish after christmas is over.  And maybe exercise (!?!?) or something.  I feel like I want to get in better shape.  So that's a thing.

*sarcasm.  Rebecca Green is awesome because she probably worked her ass off at making awesome art.

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Avocados, Bare, and Kayaking

Summer is ending.  Ending, as in I have to go college tomorrow. That's really, really weird.  Literally two weeks ago, I was in the woods, being woodsy.  That's most of the reason for the lack of posts this summer.
Now, I'm going to write about all the things I did this summer and didn't write about while I was actually doing them.  YAY.
So, Camp.  I went there, and it was woodsy.  EXCEPT that we have logging happening on camp and our trees are getting cut down and it's REALLY SAD.  Everyone on staff this year was returning, except for Jumana, who was international (from Palestine!).  I feel like that made the dynamic a little different.  I don't want to say that this year was less fun than last year, it was just different.  There was less togetherness, it just felt like I was...just there, sometimes.
So I'm not sure if I'm as dead-set on going back next summer as I once was.
THE NOVEL, you ask?  It's still a thing, and I still like it.  There's just a whole lot of writing that I need to do, and not enough time to do it in.  I did a lot of work during the portion of summer when I was in Novi, but I didn't have a whole lot of time at camp.
AVOCADOS, you ask?  I ate a metric fuckton of avocados this summer, and it was a really enjoyable experience.  I strongly recommend it.  There are like four avocados in my fridge right now, and...I plan on EATING ALL OF THEM RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
BARE BARE BARE BARE BARE BARE BARE is a musical about gay boys who are acting in Romeo and Juliet and go to a Catholic boarding school.  ALL MY FAVOURITE THINGS IN ONE.  SRSLY.  YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THIS BECAUSE IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.  Just a few of my favourite songs right hurr.

I just love love love how it's crazy and dramatic and I just have so many FEEELS BECAUSE DRAAAAAMAAAAAA.  Gaah.  I feel like bare just understands me so much.
So, KAYAKING.  This summer, I feel like I spent a lot more time kayaking or at least a lot more time explaining kayaking, which makes me feel like "woah, maybe this is a thing I'm good at or something." and yeah.  KAYAKING IS THE SHIZ.  All y'all should check out mah fifteen-seventeen post on kayaking right now.
UMMM.  Yeah.  So I should have like, goals, for like, this semester or something.  I want to blog a lot!  I want to meet a lot of people!  I want to do really well in school!  I want to find an internship!  YEAH!  LET'S DO ALL THIS STUFF AND MORE, GUYS!

I should probably stop making a fool of myself now.  Kthnxbai, love y'all.


EDIT: IRELAND
Here's the deal.  Ireland seems to be the shiz, and I think I want to move there.  If you are looking for someone super duper cool to hang out with you in Ireland, TELL ME YO.

That's all.

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(minipost)

Do you ever have those afternoonsdaysmonthsyears where you feel wildly unmotivated?  There are things to do and you sit down to work on them, but you just can't?  That is me.  All this week.  It isn't very much fun, I'll tell you.  Not fun at all.  Like a day in which you do absolutely nothing and end up sort of hating yourself a little bit?  That is my everyday since Sunday in which I did nothing.  Like got out of bed at 1 pm and lazed about in my pyjamas all day doing nothing.

That kind of makes me hate myself a little bit.  Eh.

I am also thinking of novellas as a viable option and embracing the idea of the book as a physical object.  I want to learn the basics of bookbinding and make a limited run of this little project I've been working on.  I'm thinking that it would be free to download, with an optional donation* and then have the same thing as a printed piece of wonderfulness.  Or maybe try to find a publisher?  Melville House has come up a few times in passing over the years, and they seem like they might be interested in this sort of thing.

There's also this other project that I've been working on, with a friend.  It's very exciting and a little bit scary and I'm sometimes overcome with that very bad feeling that I tend to get when I'm doing group projects at school, where you feel like you're not putting in enough work and then the paranoia takes over and you just know that everyone else resents you and thinks you don't deserve to be in the group.  I am a little bit crazy in this way.  YUP.

Maybe this minipost is not actually so miniature after all.  Hum de dee.  I'm going to bed now, I have to get to school early tomorrow for a Furniture club meeting.  Furniture club is one of those events that reminds me that oh, yes, there are more than five people in this program.  Funny.  I brought home my model of the table thing that I made and it is...incredibly useless.  Where am I supposed to put this thing?  I might just throw it away...

I am thinking more about sculpture lately.  I really like 3D.  We are building masks that are supposed to evoke emotions and mine is agression.  I have a lot of pent up agression inside my soul.

*to the "Samantha gets to write fun things fund"

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On Emotion

I am strange and awkward and unemotional.  In the worst way, but I've come to terms with it, and the fact that I've gotten to this place where I'm okay with imperfection (in that aspect, at least) is one of my favourite things about myself. 
Still, there are some times when I would trade something that I am good at for some, say, social skills.  Grad parties exacerbate this situation, if we're calling it that.  Can an aspect of your personality be a situation?  No.  Whatever.
Anyway, I'm never quite sure about how I should socalize with people, but I'm getting better.  I'm still not good at maintaining conversations with people, unless I've known them for a long time and can make something entirely out of inside jokes.  I will laugh at those inside jokes, even when no one around me understands them.  This makes me slightly awkward.
What bothers me more is that I'm never quite sure how I feel about anyone.  There's someone who, once upon a time, I was very angry at, and then I forgave them because I realized there wasn't any point in being mad, but there's strange hostility, even now.
There were forty-five commas in that sentence.  Is that even legal?
Probably not.
Also, having conversations with yourself on your blog is not socially acceptable.

One day, there will be a big, sweeping blog post in which I summarize high school and pick out favourite memories and pictures and we all get sappy and nastolgic and slightly angry at the injustice of it all, but today is not that day.  Tommorrow will probably not be that day either, but it will come.

I was going to summarize this post and say "The moral of the story is..." when I realized that there wasn't really a moral.  I'm kind of a dork.  Can that function as the moral?  Good.

*I have worn my boxers from Senior All-Night Party every night since them.  Perhaps they should be...washed.  I've heard tell of people doing that with laundry.

Wake up!

Your future is knocking!

Please note that this would be a fantastic slogan for a college advertisment.  Kid sleeping on the front of the pamphlet, picture of college on the inside.  It doesn't scream "Ivy League" but it sort of screams "Local University" like a school that is pretty good, but isn't known by people from outside of the area.  Like...Oakland University.  Or CMU.  Or Eastern.  People from other states don't really know about those, do they?
Some kid at my school draws little elephant heads in pencil on various surfaces.  I think it's a girl, because I saw one in a bathroom once, but it could be multiple people.  I like it.  It's a motif.  I want a motif.  I need a motif.  Maybe I could draw tigers.  Or ligers.  Or...lightening bolts. 
In other news, this is happening because sometimes, things are right with the world.  Notice that it's at U of M.  Notice that I live like...half an hour away from U of M.  OH SNAP.  Let's go.
Speaking of living...places, I got a call today from someone who I emailed about renting a room from.  In Grand Rapids.  I'm going to check it out next Monday, so hopefully that'll work out.  I emailed a bunch of other people too, so if I can schedule a bunch of meetings for that day, it should result in me finding a place to live.  Hopefully.
I think I'm going to wear a skirt to school tomorrow. 
I just wanted you to know.
Film School is going along swimmingly.
I like swimming.
I've been rereading Paper Heart, and I don't like what I see. I'm not in love with the plot or characters any more.  I don't think I'm going to edit it at all.  I'd rather write something new.  I do not know what that something new will be.  Maybe I should write a collection of short stories.  Or poetry.*  I've heard that there is a Camp NaNoWriMo coming this summer, and that just might be the ticket.  Of course, I will not have internet.
There are several thousand bugs in my room, swarming my desk lamp. Problem.
I have a day and a half left of high school.  How did that happen?  Where did life go?  What are we all doing here? And other questions that I ask the universe.
*Someone should stop me from doing that.  It will be horrific.  Do not want.

Oh my goodness

What is happening?
I feel like I've been very productive today.  I wrote an essay for sociology, I submitted art to the school art show, I REGISTERED FOR COLLEGE CLASSES BECAUSE I'VE OFFICIALLY DECIDED WHERE I'M GOING HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN, I went to the bank, I figured out the wilderness first aid situation*, I read some blogs, and I...bought hair dye?
Yeah.  All that.  And it's not even four thirty.
I am so cool.
I need to write some more of Film School, because I'd like to have the first two chapters done before prom.  And I should write another Lit essay.  Sigh.
It feels like it's been a million years since the last time I blogged.  Mostly because it has.  I think this has to do with either not having anything at all to talk about or having things to talk about that probably shouldn't be talked about online, lest someone goes a-stalking.
Glee was okay last week.  It wasn't as perfect as the one before it, but I fully expect tonight's episode to be fantastic.  Yay!
I think I'm growing some sort of chronically non-existent attention span.  Woohoo.
I'm going to take a nap now.  Or go on a walk.  Or both.  Simultaneously, since everything is happening at once and I might just become unstuck in time.
*Although I'm worried that my boss thinks I'm going to flake out on it.  Worried worried worried.  I won't flake out.  I promise.

Well.

 I was going to go to the gym but I didn't.  I was going to do work but I didn't.  I was going to live my life but I didn't.
So it goes.
I'm taking my lifegaurding test tomorrow.  I'm worried about it.  But I worry about everything.  I'll be fine.  Right?
I've been doing a little more work on the Novel.  Sometimes I like it and think that it's my baby and it's perfect, and sometimes I hate it more than anything.  It's a good thing that I don't exhibit any characteristics of bipolar disorder, right? 
Today my sociology class visited an elementary school in Detroit.  They had four things that my school doesn't have: windows, glitter, metal detectors, and recess.
I have an overwhelming urge to go to Finance tomorrow and do some day trading.  Day trading that involves no actual money.

I loved this typography inside the Eiffel Tower

There were random gas pumps on the street.  I thought it was weird.  And gas was crazy expensive.

You just got poemd

Get it?  It's like pwnd.  Except poetry.
This is another one of those things that I find to be hilarious and no one else thinks is vaguely funny.
I'm pretty sure I like this about myself, because it's good to think that things are funny.
So that's you know, good.

I've written my poem for AP Lit.  It's a really nice poem.  I don't want to post the whole thing here.  I want to post one stanza, but if I post one stanza, people will connect that one stanza to the poem on the wall of the classroom.  I need to write more.  I need to post a Fiction Friday every day of the week and I need to make that comic a reality (because it would be the same kind of funny that I am (not funny at all)(I'm pretty sure that the use of nested parenthesis when words are present is illegal))  Maybe this summer.  I'm going to be lacking internets this summer, so...maybe.
In other news, I've decided on the topic of my NaNoWriMo this year.  Be jealous.  Be comforted by the fact that I've decided remarkably late this time around.  I usually determine this sort of thing in the third week of November, the year before I will write it.  I love the feeling of having a novel running around in my brain, keeping me from concentrating on anything at all.
In other news, I need to find a writing contest or fiction magazine or something to submit this one story to.  Because I love it and think it's good and it's basically my wordbaby.
Also, FRANCE.  I'm excited when my mind wanders on over to the thought, but the rest of the time, I'm totally clueless.  Huh.

On Writing

I need to write something.  This is obvious, you say.  It's almost Script Frenzy, which you're doing this year, which doesn't garner nearly as much excitement as NaNoWriMo does, but still seems interesting.  And that novel.
Remember that one?  The one that I thought wasn't horrible?  The one that I thought might have a chance?  Something needs to happen with that thing, that beast that's sitting on my chest, making it hard to breathe.  I need to type it.  And edit it.  And get it out of my freeking head.
Also, today I need to swim, work on local scholarship stuff, and write the freeking thing.
Also, film school.  And I need an art something to work on, so that I have direction.
Life?  Structure. Nap.

Three Things

With creative pursuits, there's always a stage of exploration. You've been introduced to it, you try it out on a whim, and you have absolutely no idea what you're doing. It's like...you're in the woods, in a place where you've never been before, and you see a bear. At first, you flip out, and then you realize that it's actually Smoky the Bear, and instead of killing you, it talks to you. And then you get talking. After the conversation is over, you remember it and assume you were high while this occured. Either that, or having a very odd dream.
That analogy will make more sense tomorrow, when you see the profits of said creative pursuit. Actually...when I read that...it still makes no sense to me. Whatever.
Thing two: I'm not sure if this is a case of me being whiny or things genuinely being more difficult for me than they are for other people or both, but I effing suck at memorizing French verb conjugations. No matter how hard I study them, I can't ever learn them. Poop. Any ideas on how to make this easier/possible?
Thing three: I'm pretty fairly sure that I messed up something for financial aid at two of the schools I got in to. They weren't schools that I especially wanted to go to, but I'm wondering, right now, what could have been. I hate that notion, the idea of all the things that could have been if only you did one thing differently.

Also, if you're the kind of human being who functions like I do, I bet you would get some sort of benefit out of reading this.

So umm...

I was just walking into the Finance room, and Mr. Finance was opening the door, and I said "Good morning" and then I realized that it was 11:58, then I said "Good afternoon", except I said it louder and he was turned away from me and it was like I was yelling at him.

So that was awkward.

I've had something that I've wanted to blog about for days now, but whenever I sit down at the computer, the thought escapes me.

So that was cool.

This and this both caught my fancy today. I thought you would like to know. Don't forget the forever funny Unhappy Hipsters.

We have no school tomorrow. I plan on staying up late and drawing tonight. Party on. I should have a huge graphite self portrait by tomorrow.

I just realized that there's a strange substance on the shirt that I've been wearing all day. Way to tell me, guys. And there's a strange whirring machine outside my bedroom.

So that's cool.

Blagh

Glee was on tonight. I was not impressed, to say the least. Who wrote this episode? Who left Kurt out? Who made a diva-off into a "Yay happy we all love each other" fest? And the whole plot arc of the episode felt weak. Cringe. And I have no idea why anyone cares about how Rachel dresses. Really? We have better things to do. And Lauren's song was weird. Really weird. Also, did the person who directs camera angles have a seizure at work? There seemed to be way more camera movement than normal, and it was all sort of weird. Does not compute.
Anyway.
I was in the shower the night before last and I came to a stunning, horible, realization. I forgot to add a portfolio piece. Remember that ring? No, you don't. But there was a ring, and it was fantastic, and I was supposed to put it in my portfolio and I totally forgot about it. FML.
Ahhh never going to get into college ahhh never going to get that job ahhh general anxiety.
I need to calm down and go to the gym. And probably lay off the pepsi.
I have homework to do. Homework homework homework.
I remember telling someone that if I got a B in gym, I would be angsting. But...I'm fine. I'm fine. I'll be fine.

Sometimes if you keep telling yourself something, it comes true. This is one of those times.
I have Psych, Forensics, and Lit. Right?
Should I go to Nationals? It's more expensive than it was last year, and I didn't get to play that much last year. But it's the last quizbowl thing of my life, and I think I might regret not going. What should I do? In the comments!

A real blog post

What is real, anyway? Is real something you can touch? Is real something that can hold you? Is real something that you've made and been proud of?
Pondering, pondering, pondering.
Starting to think that repetition, repetition, repetition is a big part of my writing style, style, style.
But not, you know, that big of a part. Smaller than commas, probably. Not that I have a comma abuse problem.
I saw Sunset Boulevard yesterday and it was AMAZING and Norma's eyes were terrifying and Max is my favourite character. Yep.
And I saw Black Swan on Friday and I was like "AH AH AH" and it was good. The whole skin thing was sort of distracting. I didn't understand what was happening with that until the end, so the whole time when I was watching it, I was like "DUDE WTH IS HAPPENING WITH YOUR SKIN!?!?!" and it was...odd.
I speak in capslock. Don't judge me.
Anyway, I'm going to my youth group's superbowl party with my boyfriend, but he's never met them and I'm afraid some sort of crazy judgy thing is going to go down. But it probably won't.
I am turning into a fourteen year old girl who is very excited to have Glee come back on tonight and is considering writing the next Dalton. Because...that fanfic has it's own fandom. It's strange, really. Strange and amazing.
That reminds me of what I meant to blog about! Yay! Superstars: Why?
That was a deep title. Anyway, I was thinking about superstars and why it seems like so much popularity is concentrated in a small number of people. That doesn't seem like it's a good thing, does it? Is that the definition of being successful, being able to take possible popularity/wealth away from the lesser? We're sort of applying a rich get richer and poor get poorer type thing. Like social darwinism. It always comes back to social darwinism in the end.

There's too much in my brain

List time. 'tis how we roll.
1. WHY CAN'T I MEMORIZE ANYTHING? It's not a test anxiety thing, I usually test pretty well. But these country quizzes, no matter how much I study, I never ever get it, and that's killing me. I can tell that Mr.IR wants me to do well, and I want to do well and I've been studying and studying but nothing is working. Rage.
2. My morning started off with me finishing a horrendous diorama for French. While I was doing this, my mother offhandedly asks "Did I tell you about that woman who kept a stillborn baby on ice for three days?"
That's a great thought to have flitting back and forth in your brain while you're trying to concentrate on finals. Apparently it's a friend of a friend who may or may not have some mental health issues. Also, that's creepy. And probably had something to do with
3. I had a scary dream this afternoon, while partaking in my standard nap. It was really uncomfortable and it reminded me why I'm better off not remembering the vast majority of my dreams. Ych.
4. Health. Today was the third and final day of sex ed, and I really have to say something about it. This unit made me respect my teacher a lot more. She was kind of blunt about things that she needed to be blunt about, and that can't be an easy lesson to teach. And just because we technically have an abstinence based curriculum doesn't mean that teachers teach like no one is actually having sex or will ever have sex.
5. Add Lee Pace to the list of men who look better without facial hair. And Alan Rickman. I know that these are controversial views, but guys, this is for your own good.
6. 24 hour plays sounds amazing. Like NaNoWriMo, but faster and more fervent and with this great collaboration between all kinds of people and now I'm drooling on my keyboard because it sounds so. Freeking. Cool.
7. Film School? On. On like flapjacks. On like...Ontario, where I will be going at some point in this year. But I already told ya'll that.

In which I seem to be utterly (otterly) insane.

Ahahahah. Just so you know, I'm not nearly as crazy as I thought I was. It's a real thing.
Uh...I needed to blog. So I am. Blogging.
Today was the last real day of gym for my whole entire life. Yay! But really, I liked gym this year. I think I'll miss it a little bit.
But I won't miss Gov. Grr rage gov anger.
Today when I was leaving school one of the parts of the parking lot that's sometimes blocked off with cones wasn't blocked and I tried to drive through it and Mac yelled at me because apparently the cones are there for a reason. Except THEY WEREN'T THERE. YOU MOVED THEM THERE AFTER YOU YELLED AT ME.
Um. This is a terrible blog post.
Do you ever have one of those moments where you wonder what makes you who you are and you realize that, if you woke up in a different life tomorrow morning, you would be a completely different person? And then you feel weird because you realize that you're not actually your own person at all and you're only what other people make you? Yep. Yep. Yep.
In other news, I'm supposed to be finishing typing up that story to send to my editor and studying for gov and making that diorama for French (no, this is not helping me learn French in any way) and study study studying more capitals and countries and agh, shoot me now.
Twelve and a half years of taxpayer funded education, and I am so eloquent. And I still abuse short sentences like it's my job.
Wouldn't it be great if that was my job?
Film School: It's legit happening. I have characters. I have a number of readers. It is so on. On like flapjacks. On like awesomesauce. On like pterodactyls. On like Persuasion and Pythons (the next book in the weird Pride and Predjuce and Zombies trend. It's like Snakes on a Plane. I invented it earlier today)
Also, I found the Zombiecorns story. And I am reading it. And it is effing hilarious. In a way. A weird way.
OH OH MY GOSH I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION. I am declaring Feburary first to be New New Years. January has been, to say the least, a fuckup month for me and I kind of want to throw it away and pretend it never happened, so that's exactly what we're going to do. I will have New Year's resolutions and sparkling beverages (like...pepsi) and be filled with a general air of optomism and hope. It will be lovely. Just like you, dear readers.

In which I am incredibly cool

Someone told me that they would be interested to read the blog post I wrote tonight. If the fanbase is built in, then why wouldn't you publish something? So, here goes nothing.
I'm watching Glee. Therefore, this post will be about Glee. Season 1, episode 4. "Give not being homeless a try!" Good episode. And now onto episode 10. Ballads. Schuster needs to find ties that are less ugly. "I could totally sing this song with Finn, but screw him if he thinks he's taking the Diana Ross part from me." That's where the story of PedoWill begins. And Kurt obsesses over Finn, which is hilarious. I also happen to be wearing sunglasses and a beanie. At night. Indoors. It never hurts to be awesome.
I was feeling a little bit of the giddy, hyper, out of no where happiness earlier, and the remnants of it are still with me. I can't stop tapping my feet.
It's official. I'm ditching college and running away to LA to write for my sitcom and later, several romantic comedies. Who needs a degree and a steady job with a paycheck? Why not just be a starving experimental artist?
Party. Woohoo.
I have so much shit to do rage rage rage rage. Should I get a tumblr? No. Should I start writing an epic Klaine (with a little Kurtofsky) fic? Should I laugh my head off at the fact that including Chris Colfer in my ridiculous sitcom webseries was not my idea? Yes. I may have done so.
God, I need to get that novel typed up. I need to type it and edit it and do something with it so I can get it out of my head. And the characterization, the characterization is probably my number one problem. Number two is pacing. I'm sure I'll figure out numbers three to five thousand one hundred seventy two when I actually...erm...read the dumb thing.
I have been feeling more musical than normal as of late. I thought you ought to know. I do not have an explanation for this life change.
So, through deep obsession and careful survey, I have concluded that a shittonne of things are named after Dalton (and there was a "Hummel Industries" as well), the school that the Warblers are from. Businesses, mostly. Signs that I can see driving down I-75. And...this is really weird, but last Friday, after my grandma's funeral, when everything was done, we had to go to the funeral home to get some of the flowers and sign papers or something. I was looking at some paper (not the supposedly official paper that was in COMIC SANS) and noticed that under "Casket" it said...erm...this is weird..."Dalton" No longer will I be telling my awesomance partner about every single time I see something that says "Dalton"
If you're a senior who's on my quiz bowl team, you need to get your butt to practice, mkay? I don't want to be one of three seniors at practice again.

What everyone's talking about

I had thoughts of making this post a multimedia adventure (and I would forever refer to it as that) but then I ditched that idea. So...yep. This is the post that everyone's been talking about, so...yay!
On Tuesday (and I really did mean to blog about it on Tuesday) Mrs.AP Euro was supposed to be talking to the France group about Versailles. I wanted to stay, even though I thought I'd seen the powerpoint before. But I had quizbowl, and I had to go. (We're going to Nationals, bitches. And I played a half a game. The game that we won, further proving that we will win every game that I play in.) And then, later in the evening, I checked my blog feeds, and...Delicious.
Yep, I feel like a perv when I say that about something that isn't food.
I have this overwhelming feeling like I'm going the wrong direction in my future, for the past two weeks or so. Like maybe furniture and architecture are both wrong for me, and if I don't do that, then what am I going to do? It's this kind of like...subliminal stressor, always there following me. Agh.
This post needs another picture.*insert random picture from hard drive*
Also, there's this gov project that's showing me that no, I really haven't gotten better at time management since I was ten and yes, I still hate schoolwork. Most scholwork, that is. I happen to have written a very satisfying IR essay during lunch today. Be jealous.

Do you remember?

Do we all remember my birthday? Yeah, we do. And do we remember that song that I couldn't remember the name of?
Found it!



Good to know I'm working on getting into college, right? But really, you know that I'm burning CDs of A Very Potter Musical and Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog. And quite possibly some Glee music and Mike Lombardo and everything else that I dont' have on CD. Because A) I am living in the early years of the 2000's and I'm fine with that and B) I don't have a MP3 hookup in my car.
My brother just said that all the music I listen to is outdated. Ouch.
Um...I want to make a movie. And I want it to be about supervillians. Is that dumb*? I will be doing Screnzy now (even though I will be in France (!!!!!) for a portion of the month) because I need ridiculous challenges to keep me sane.
I got 50 seconds on the flex arm hang in gym today. That's an A+. I just thought you'd like to know. This will be the only fitness test that I won't be going for the improvement score on.
We will (hopefully) be having a Fiction Friday tomorrow. Just thought you might like to know.
I need to get my lifegaurding certification. Stat.
*Don't answer that.

Paper is like Human Flesh

This is everything written on my hand and arm:
Chess Tomorrow
Art was better when it wasn't about the artist?
Blood
Health Thing
Dracofic
Hatredfearhatred
No class dec 1
Blogging scholarship
Rise in Michigan-centric advertising
Sugar Quill
Laser Printer and acetone on paper
Scholastics
Send letter of rec info
Docufide

The thing is, when I read this list, I know what every single thing on here is about and what I need to do regarding it. Hmm...this is an excellent system of organization. I will be successful in life. Fo' Sho.
I...um...well, it's 12:23 and I still have Gov homework (forealz, that is the only class I have homework in this year) to do and so yeah...bye.
Whose idea was it to make me spend three days watching an Eating Disorder documentary in Health and a Genocide in Darfur documentary in IR. WHY ARE THEY ON THE SAME THREE DAYS? ARE YOU TRYING TO MESS WITH MY FRAGILE MENTAL STATE?
Capslock may be messing with my fragile mental state as much as these documentaries.
Also, I need to stop sounding so crazy on the blog. Going to work on that. Add it to my list!
That title? My art teacher said that today. It seemed very fitting.

Dear Universe

So...erm...someone messed with my blogger dashboard....erm...what's happening there?
Today kinda sucked. Someone took the time to tell me that I looked disheveled* during first block. My shoes were untied and I had gotten out of bed less than 20 minutes before. Big deal. It's first block. First block is as close to my natural state as most people will ever see me in at school. In nature, lives are nasty, brutish, short, and pantsless. Honey, you're lucky that you did not see my pale, purple-tinged legs today.
You know who does get to see my pale, purple legs every single day? My gym class. Sexy, right? I've been studying during gym. It's taken my mind off of the constant emotional pain that I feel.
Umm...And then I felt rather angsty and full of self-hatred** and then I talked to Emaline and felt better because I have something to challenge my health teacher about tomorrow/today. Also, I don't need health. I have Henrik Ibsen.

*If I was one of those women who look put together (you know what I mean), would I look sheveled? Is there an opposite of disheveled?
**Feeling this with alarming frequency. Need it to go away. RIGHT NOW.