Monday, June 13, 2011

On Emotion

I am strange and awkward and unemotional.  In the worst way, but I've come to terms with it, and the fact that I've gotten to this place where I'm okay with imperfection (in that aspect, at least) is one of my favourite things about myself. 
Still, there are some times when I would trade something that I am good at for some, say, social skills.  Grad parties exacerbate this situation, if we're calling it that.  Can an aspect of your personality be a situation?  No.  Whatever.
Anyway, I'm never quite sure about how I should socalize with people, but I'm getting better.  I'm still not good at maintaining conversations with people, unless I've known them for a long time and can make something entirely out of inside jokes.  I will laugh at those inside jokes, even when no one around me understands them.  This makes me slightly awkward.
What bothers me more is that I'm never quite sure how I feel about anyone.  There's someone who, once upon a time, I was very angry at, and then I forgave them because I realized there wasn't any point in being mad, but there's strange hostility, even now.
There were forty-five commas in that sentence.  Is that even legal?
Probably not.
Also, having conversations with yourself on your blog is not socially acceptable.

One day, there will be a big, sweeping blog post in which I summarize high school and pick out favourite memories and pictures and we all get sappy and nastolgic and slightly angry at the injustice of it all, but today is not that day.  Tommorrow will probably not be that day either, but it will come.

I was going to summarize this post and say "The moral of the story is..." when I realized that there wasn't really a moral.  I'm kind of a dork.  Can that function as the moral?  Good.

*I have worn my boxers from Senior All-Night Party every night since them.  Perhaps they should be...washed.  I've heard tell of people doing that with laundry.

1 Fab Fans:

LittleTree said...

you are a wonderful you . . . continue to grow and learn and love and laugh . . .