Tuesday, November 30, 2010

That's it, then.

I won. I won with less than twenty minutes to spare. I'm sitting on the couch. I won. I won. I won.

Last year, I was jumping up and down when I won.
This year, I'm just sort of in a daze. I wrote a lot today. More than I thought I would have, because things ended up being added wrong. 9,208, to be exact.
My 50,000th word was "She" Fitting.
I was really, really close to not winning.* I was worried.
He thought he would be the only one to win. I have some things to say about this, but the internet is a public place (so they say)
I like this novel. I really like it. At the end of the month, with all the others, I couldn't stand the thought of reading them, let alone editing them. I want to edit this one. I want to make it good. I want it to be great. While we're on the topic of editing, how do you make people sound as though they're a certain age? How do you make them sound like they're men or women? Any ideas?
I'm going to jump up and down for a while now. And do my book talk. And IR homework. And you know, go to college. Go college!
I won. I won. I won.
I still can't believe I won.
I won.
I won.
I won.
I think it feels just as good as last year, if not better.
*Under no condition is it acceptable to call me with an hour and a half of NaNoWriMo left. I do not care if your leg just fell off. You should not be seeking my attention. Sorry if I was being a bitch, but...I was very stressed out.

Um. Crazycakes. That's my life.

I wrote a lot today* and I still have a lot more to write, but it's okay. Remember when I saw Toy Story 3 and my basic reaction was D'awww + tears? Mmm yeah, Pixar did it again with their "It Gets Better" video. Probably the best one I've seen yet.

Now you know what company should make an "It Gets Better" video? Herman Miller. Also, Alan Rickman. That would be good, simply because he is in it.
I'm sure I had things to say when I opened this blog post. I'm really sure, but they're gone now. NBD. Um...writing is making me crazy. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be in an emotional state on Wednesday, so watch out. There's some stuff, people related stuff, that I kind of need to talk about, but I can't really talk about it here because things are weird and yeah. Someone is about to win a prize for their fantastic skills in the expression department, no? Speaking of prizes, I'm going to be entering writing contests. I've found them. I'm going to do them after College (AHHHHHHHH WHY MUST YOU BE SO INSANE AAAAAAAAAAAAH) and NaNo and portfolio are done. Yes. Also, Scholastics, which I need to enter. I might be entering for both art and writing. I'm not sure.
I have a gym test tomorrow. It's about swimming. I liked the swimming unit. Except for the day when there had been a swim meet the night before and the pool was really low and lacking chlorine and smelled like B.O. that part was gross.
What else? All of my art stuff that was scattered around my house is currently in my room because we had Thanksgiving here and I had to move it. I cannot function with all of this stuff in my space. AHHAAAAAA. Do not like. Need to clean. Nowwwwwwwwwww.
*When I say today, I mean the today it was before midnight. Get with the program here.
Okay, this is just so I know what I have to do this week. Disregard this entirely.

  • Email mr.b about letters of rec
  • call ccs guy about interview
  • work on vellum architectural colourrr
  • work on chess pieces
  • touch up weird random design
  • do l'hotel de ville in pen? Maybe. If time
  • start typing up novel???
  • get transcripts and scores sent to schools
  • list writing contests and dates
  • shipping news - book talk
  • shit just got real
  • ccs tomorrow first block? Eh?
  • how fast to use nano code?
  • when to type and edit novel - type - add 40k of extra story - print out - read - edit - have betas read, etc.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Isn't it funny...

That I haven't blogged in a week? That I need to write 16,000 words by the end of the month? That I started typing out "Sixteen thousand" because it's two words when "16,000" is just one?

Yes. Of course. All of the above.
College. College relates to all of the things I need to blog about right now. When I say that it relates to all of the things I need to blog about right now, I mean that it loosely relates to some of the things I need to blog about right now.
I'm starting to think that they make applying to college difficult and confusing to convince people not to go to college, which is looking like a better option every day. And then I remember how much I hate flipping burgers, which is what every single person who doesn't go to college ends up doing for their whole entire life, right? Seventy percent* of the U.S. population currently works at McDonald's. When you stop and think about that one for a half second, you realize that the concept is economically and physically impossible. There aren't enough McDonald's in the country to make space for them, and if everyone was working at McDonald's there wouldn't be enough people to buy the food. Also, duh.
Mr.Apgov is very convinced that he's teaching a college course. Whatever, right? Let the teachers think what they want to think, they're not hurting anyone. Except sometimes they are. If anyone reading this blog is in college or has taken a real college course or has ever thought about higher education as a concept, could they please verify the fact that you generally don't focus on regurgitating useless information while you're in college? Or, really, for that matter, while you're in a non-mandatory high school course? We have a project right now that seems to be focused on learning an unnecessary amount about a specific president. Mine is Andrew Jackson, known to be a total jerk and waste of space. Also, he was really into populism, an idea which I'm not terribly fond of. And frankly, I don't think that finding the names of every single person who he ran against in the presidential election will help me on the AP test that I'm not taking**.
So. Thanksgiving was good. Food was good. Leftovers consist only of turkey, turkey soup, and more turkey, which is a massive disappointment. All I want is some mashed potatoes. Is it that difficult, really?
On Buy Nothing Day, I bought stuff, including a prom dress. I'm unnecessarily excited about this dress. If you're someone who has already heard about it, then I'm very sorry. It's a very exciting dress.
I've been watching some...television...on the internet, of late. Dear Fox, please please please, do not show me another advertisement for Panera about how to make the perfect crust (Spritz the bread with water, then spray the inside of the oven!) or Bob's Burgers. That show makes me assume that Family Guy and SouthPark are the height of intelligence and cultural achievement. I am not interested in either of your advertisements. Please, switch things up, just for once. You, like Facebook, could decide that I'm Mormon and give me several thousand advertisements for "LDS Modest Prom Dresses".
*My made up statistic was written like that to make it two words long. I am fantastic.***
**I'm switching out of the class next semester, and it turns out that no one actually cares about AP Gov. Except, of course, State. Everyone wants to go to Michigan or State, for some mysterious and unknown reason. They can't have the best program for everything, guys!
***"Lucio, a fantastic. And he is fantastic." - Mrs. Aplit, who is fantastic.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

2 AM, we've got to stop meeting like this.

I'd much rather sleep with you.
Anyway, we have an excerpt. An excerpt, you say? How exciting! Jazzhands are in order, surely.* I've been on the computer a lot, mostly getting distracted. If all the words I see suddenly got a lot smaller, does that mean that my vision's going? Because it totally is.

“Yeah. This is impossible. You're amazing, but you can't do everything in a superhuman way. You'd kill yourself trying that.”
“I want to try, though. Don't you just want to hit that point where you've given something everything you've got and you know, for once, that you really wanted something?”
“Wanted it enough to die for it?”

So yeah, that's what I'm writing right now. Partayyyy. I think things are getting angstier** for both of my main characters, when in reality, only one of them should be angsty. But the diolauge? I love it so much. I love writing diolague between tehm, because they talk the way all of the characters in my head talk (and you should know that the above conversation isn't between them) sort of bantering back and forth very quickly, adding onto each other's unfinished thoughts because they fit together so perfectly.
*As I type this, I'm realizing just how interesting the things I'm writing right now will look in the morning. 'Tis the beauty of NaNo, is it not? Stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
**Spellcheck*** is telling me that this isn't a word. Clearly we need to have a chat about language.
***My footnotes have footnotes; I need to go to bed. But...shouldn't wizards have spellcheck? Yesh. Makes sure you don't do stupid things like sectumsempra without knowing what you're doing.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Missing, The Wrong, The Emtional, and The Other

Consider this to be part two of the Harry Potter post. Spoilers abound. Most of these are minor issues, but I need to tell someone about them. Overall, I thought the movie was amazing, but there are some little things...

The Missing- Peacocks. Where are my peacocks? Yaxley said "He always did well for himself, Lucius. Peacocks." in a fabulously mocking way, and I want some albino peacocks! This is not okay!
I love how we awkwardly repair things that were left out in previous movies, like the entire relationships between Bill and Fleur and Remus and Tonks. And why on earth does Bill have to explain the scars on his face? Because of the failures of previous movies, that's why.
Andromeda is the one person who I'm really sad that they cut out. We know next to nothing about her, but there's so much you can imagine. What would motivate someone to leave their whole family behind? Can it really be all about Ted? Shouldn't there be something more? How does she feel about her sisters? How do they feel about her? I need to write a novel about this, clearly. Harry mistakes Andromeda for Bellatrix when he first sees her, so why couldn't HBC just play her with different hair and costume? At the end, sort of after the battle, aren't Narcissa and Andromeda supposed to see each other and have some sort of emotional reunion? I really wanted to see that. Without Andromeda, that cannot happen. This is a big problem
Charlie. Charlie...Charlie. Why are you not in any of the movies, Charlie? Why must they just cut out Weasley siblings? Why not cut out, say, Wormtail? No one needs him, but we need Charlie!
Krum was missing too, because he was supposed to get angry at Xenophilius about the Hallows symbol. Sigh. I guess it wasn't that big of a deal.
Why haven't we ever had a person identified as Rodolphus Lestrange? There's a bunch of generic Death Eaters who could be Rodolphus, but we don't know which one is him. He's not very significant, and given the things I assume about their relationship, Bellatrix was never too attached to him anyway.

The Wrong-Malfoy Manor was supposed to be like a bigger, kept up version of 12 Grimmauld Place combined with Manderly* and maybe a little bit of the Ministry of Magic thrown in. It's wrong. Too...Hogwartsy, really. And Narcissa, why the bangs? WHY? That is gross. Also, Lucius? Are we too busy sitting around the house all day to shave and clean up our hair? In the fanfiction, you are pretty into your appearance. I wold appreciate it if you could keep that up in the film. Why is Voldemort moving and talking like a normal human? He is not normal. This is wrong.
Mundungus Fletcher, you are completely wrong. Ew ew no. You are supposed to look like a pile of rags. Why do you not look like a pile of rags? Why do you not look right? Tonks, what is happening with your hair? You can change it very easily, so why on earth would you leave it ugly? Ew. Do not like. Bill, why do you not have enough scars? You're supposed to be really scarred up, but there's like three cuts. Big deal. Hagrid, when did it become okay to fly motorcycles (which are supposed to be black, not blue) in the street? Around muggles? What is up with you?
I'm done talking to fictional characters now. Maybe.
Fred's reaction to the holey joke should have been bigger than it was. That is a terrible, funny joke. Act like it is. And Mrs. Weasely, you're supposed to be actively preventing Ron, Harry and Hermione from going off to search for horcruxes. Why aren't you?
Why isn't Fleur's family at the wedding? Wouldn't you make sure to remember your child's wedding? I would. Why does Harry look like Harry? He's supposed to be looking like the redhead muggle boy from the village.
Throughtout the movie, the apparation is really weird. It's not as bad as the time travel in Time Traveler's Wife**, but it's pretty unrealistic and weird. Do not like.
What else? Mr. Lovegood is way too out there. He makes Luna look totally normal, but they were supposed to be around the same level of crazy. And he didn't just say "Voldemort" to get Harry caught. There were more people in jail, I thought. And no lantern.
When was Dumbledore buried on an ISLAND? That never happened. Weird, that was. And also very dramatic.

The Emotional-I feel like I should have been sad when Moody and Hedwig died. It was just kind of like they were there, and then they were gone. But when Dobby said he was a free elf? That he had no master? I was basiacally falling apart. Why, why does he have to be so devoted? Fred is going to die in the next movie. Fred is going to die. Fred is going to die. What am I going to do when Fred dies?

The Other- The entire scene where Harry's trying to get the sword out of the water reminded me so much of the water drifting scenes in A Single Man. I just heard like...two days ago that Bonnie Wright and Jamie Cambell Bower are engaged. Apparently this happened in like...May. When we were wating for the movie to start, we were talking to these other people about AVPM and someone said that we went to the same school as Lauren Lopez, and someone asked if we went to U of M. Um..no. Do we look like college kids? Really? Um...I really like The Politician's Wife, which I read like two months ago. As for ships I like to read in fanfiction, Dramione is an old standby, Drarry's generally good, and I love Snape/Anyone, Any of the Malfoys/Anyone, and...that's it. I don't think Ron's cut, after he got splinched, was totally unrealistic.
And, just so you know, if you're going to the movies with me, do not ask me questions about the plot and possiblities of Harry Potter while we are still in the theater. This is release day. For reals guys, shut up. Unless, of course, you're saying "Dobby!" when appropriate.

*Yes, I am referencing the world outside Harry Potter. I visit there occasionally.
**What, with chunks of people vanishing? That's bad. Really bad, actually.

The Good

I just finished watching Harry Potter. 24 hours ago, I was watching Harry Potter. I love today. In celebration, here's a brief* explanation of the things I loved about Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows (Part One). There are major spoilers here. I hope you're okay with that.

First off, the entire scene with Hermione's parents was pretty heart-wrenching. And then she just melted away from the pictures. Epic sadness, right there. That opening sequence, with Hermione and Harry and Ron, that's really good. Not the same as the book, but good. I liked the entire Malfoy Manor scene too. All the Death Eaters laugh when Voldemort says that Charity Burbadge would have them mate with muggles, but Snape doesn't laugh, or even smile. I like that little nod towards his blood status and lack of humour. Snape is really a fantastic character and Alan is a great actor, even if we only see him for 30 seconds. I didn't expect to feel anything when Charity Burbadge died, but I was kinda sad. Tom Felton was good** in that scene too. I really liked Bill Nighy as Scrimgeour. If anyone was going to play him, it should be the crazy old man from Love Actually, even if he doesn't quite fit the book description.
The scene where Ginny and Harry are kissing and George walks in on them and stares awkwardly? That was perfect, even though it's not cannon. And um...the toothbrush? Odd. The wedding was amazing.
I think the trio were fantastic in this movie. Just thought you ought to know.
At 12 Grimmauld Place, I think it's the cutest thing ever when Dobby and Kreacher come on in with Mundungus. That is awesome. Dobby was so great in this movie, and I think they've changed something in the CGI, since he looked...different. In a good way.
I wasn't a huge fan of the whole ministry scenario, but the kiss? That was good in an awkward way, which is the best kind of good (as long as you're the one who's not feeling the awkward).
In the camping trip, someone clearly shippped Harry/Hermione. I shipped it too. When I was twelve. Still, I vastly prefer it to Ron/Hermione, and anyways, it was cute. Hermione's line about how she thinks logicly and blocks out extraneous details? Amazing.
On their visit to Xenophilius Lovegood, I liked the plums. And the animation of the three brothers? Unexpected, but perfect. It felt Burtonesque, it had no diolauge, it felt really graphic, and everything was amazing. Yay. I especially liked the bit where the candle is blown out and the colours switch, with the blood from the throat slitting. That was a good image.
This is random, but I really like that one snatcher, with the scarf and the eyeliner.
Malfoy Manor again? Yes. Ahamazing. I love Helena Bonham Carter so much. And when you look up to see Dobby unscrewing the chandelier? Priceless. Ahh, all of Dobby's lines here are perfect, and if I was in a somewhat emotional mood, just saying one of them would make me cry. Dobby is a free elf!
That movie was 2 hours and 20something minutes long. It felt like it was an hour, tops. Time is weird like that.

*Harry Potter and brief are mutually exclusive. Didn't you realize that?
*I originally wrote that as "god". Can you say "Freudian slip"?

Friday, November 19, 2010

Fiction Friday

I'm jealous of you. I know this is a fully irrational feeling, but I can't help it and I don't care to help it in the least.
Is that wrong? Is dissatisfaction wrong?
Is rebellion wrong? And what if, for once in my whole entire life, I did something that no one would have expected me to do and what would they do then? What could they do then? They have no where to run, no where to hide, and nothing that they can change about me. Bite me. Try it. Kill me. Try it.
I wonder sometimes, if they, if you pass out life as a punishment or as a gift.
I think it's a little bit of both, depending on what kind of a mood you're in. That's sick. That is really, truly sick.
I want you to care about me, and I want you to leave me alone and I want you to be concerned about me, all at once. Can you manage that? Please? For me?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I may cry tonight.

After all this time?


Monday, November 15, 2010

Quote of the Month

"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too."
Lemony Snicket/Daniel Handler

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Just a thought

What if you're afraid of being normal because if you're normal, no one will care? Like what if you feel this need to be consistently outrageous, and without that, you fear that you're nothing at all?

That was a plot bunny, right there.
If I wasn't an artist, if I got scared of it all and ran away, what would I do?
I would write. I would go into foreign affairs. I would follow plan A. I would go to a university and have no idea what to do with my life until halfway through my senior year.
That's a good life decision, that is.

Friday, November 12, 2010

The thing on my leg

I had lotion on my hand and the sharpie won't write on lotioned flesh. Lotioned is totally a word.

Um. So I've been acting sort of totally messed up this (day, week, month, year) and I've realized exactly why. Thought you should know that. The reasons why are written on my leg. Right leg, inside, nearing ankle territory.
I'm blogging from the outside, where I'm listening to Vampire Weekend and writing. Yay. It's warm today, and that makes me really happy. I'm going to see Hairspray tonight and playing QUIZBOWL tomorrow and going to see the boy in Cinderella tomorrow and it's just great. Yay.
Someone, let's call her Zombie, and I have been becoming kinda friends. And we have gym together. We're swimming next week, and so I must ask the essential question: should I wear a one-piece or two-piece? Big choices here.
Um...what else? There has to be something else. Oh, gymteacherwhotellsusnothingaboutherlife said that her dad was getting married this weekend and that it would be really awkward. I second that opinion. It's always funny to find out stuff about teacher's personal lives. Like when we (I) found Mrs.AP Euro's husband on facebook*.
The novel is...okay. It's going okay, and that's all I have to say about that. I just hate that no matter whose voice I'm trying to write in, it always comes out with this overriding feeling of Samanthaness. Ewww. I don't want to sound like me, just like I wouldn't be myself if I was given any kind of choice in the matter.**
*That never happened. Or maybe it did.
**I told that to someone once and they gave me a very...eugh answer "You should always want to be yourself."

Thursday, November 11, 2010

This is scar(y)

You know what I'm going to be doing a week from now? Crying. And maybe getting ready to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.This is big. This is monumental.I'm dressing up, of course.But I can't help thinking, when this is over, what am I going to do?So that's my question for you: What on earth am I going to do after Harry?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Paper is like Human Flesh

This is everything written on my hand and arm:
Chess Tomorrow
Art was better when it wasn't about the artist?
Health Thing
No class dec 1
Blogging scholarship
Rise in Michigan-centric advertising
Sugar Quill
Laser Printer and acetone on paper
Send letter of rec info

The thing is, when I read this list, I know what every single thing on here is about and what I need to do regarding it. Hmm...this is an excellent system of organization. I will be successful in life. Fo' Sho.
I...um...well, it's 12:23 and I still have Gov homework (forealz, that is the only class I have homework in this year) to do and so yeah...bye.
Whose idea was it to make me spend three days watching an Eating Disorder documentary in Health and a Genocide in Darfur documentary in IR. WHY ARE THEY ON THE SAME THREE DAYS? ARE YOU TRYING TO MESS WITH MY FRAGILE MENTAL STATE?
Capslock may be messing with my fragile mental state as much as these documentaries.
Also, I need to stop sounding so crazy on the blog. Going to work on that. Add it to my list!
That title? My art teacher said that today. It seemed very fitting.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

This post is questionable

What is happening with that title. And what is happening with my life?

I wrote 1882 words today, so that's mildly sexy.
Why is everything about sex now?
Because sex sells, that's why. Isn't that pathetic? Yes, yes it is.
Does the vast majority of this novel, like every other novel I've ever written, take place within the heads of my main characters? Does that disgust me? Does it disgust me that my characters don't feel like separate people, even though they are? Is characterization one of my main flaws as a person? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Was that a stylistic choice? Did I attempt to lighten my hair a little more today? Did it go well? Did I cause a TV to fall in the back of my car in an attempt to get to the library in time to return a DVD? Was that DVD Cat On a Hot Tin Roof? Was it totally awesome? Did it remind me absurdly of A Streetcar Named Desire, but with a markedly different ending? Did I think that Brick was pretty hot? Did I start the chess still life in CHARCOAL today?
Most importantly, have I been binging on fanfiction to procrastinate on my NaNoWriMo and my portfolio? That one, is, of course, a solid yes.
My brother is coming home tomorrow. It sure was nice to be an only child for a couple days. Zut.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

A Belated Fiction Friday

I was going through my drafts and dug up this old post from July. I don't know why I didn't post it then, but I'm sure I had a reason.

I was going to post this yesterday, but then I forgot and it suddenly turned into today. Funny how time happens, isn't it? I wrote this a couple nights ago when I couldn't fall asleep 'till 6:30 or something. Staying up late is fun until about 4, when all you want to do is get some sleep. Annnd...I found a new video of Jo. Why didn't anyone tell me about this when it happened? I think it's cool.

Anyway, here it goes. The story, I mean.

"What do you do when you're alone?"
"What do you mean? I'm always alone."
"You're not alone right now."
"Actually, I am."
"No you're not, silly. I'm here."
"Yeah. You. But you're always here. You don't count."
"Ouch, what would you do if I was gone?"
"I would wait for you to come back, of course."
"I'm never coming back."
"Way to tell me in advance. I'll spend my time hating you with ever fiber of my being."
"Why is your being so fibrous?"
"Because I eat my fruits and vegetables, just like mommy says I should."
"When was the last time you talked to mommy? She disappointed in you?"
"I don't have a mother."
"Neither does God, and he turned out alright."
"Yeah, something just went wrong with me, I guess."
"Something went wrong with all of us, didn't it?"
"Then what seperates them from us?"
"Getting caught."
"Someone once told me that grade-school bullies end up as cops or criminals."
"I wasn't a bully."
"Neither was I."
"So we keep on getting fucked by the bullies, over and over."
"Pretty much."
"Shit like that makes me lose faith in socicety a little more every day."
"They've lost faith in you, don't you think?"
"Kicked outta the playground for good."
"I always wonder if life is easier for other people."
"Or if they're just better actors."
"I used to want to be an actor."
"I thought it was an art where I could hide myself. Everything else, it seems to revolve around putting yourself out there, and I just wanted to hide."
"I kind of think we're all looking for someplace to hide."
"But it's better for us, I think, not to find it."
"Getting too safe and too comfortable is what kills everyone sooner or later. You have to keep moving, even when you don't want to."
"What's the danger in getting yourself killed sooner rather than later? The dead only pity the living."
"And you can talk to them?"
"No, but I like to think that they have it a little better than this."
"Oh, welcome to the middle ages! Where are the horsemen?"
"I killed them."
"You gotta stop killing the symbolism. Wasn't the house of Usher enough for you?"
"I just wanted to be one of the cool kids."
"You're not a cool kid, and you're stuck that way."
"Can't people change?"
"Never enough. Never, ever enough."

Friday, November 5, 2010

So yeah.

I feel like all y'all deserve something more, but I don't really have anything to give you. So...wanna read my college essay? Yay college.
This was for the architecture school. Just so you know, if that isn't evident. Also, it's kind of dramatic, which...well...maybe wasn't the right thing to go for. Either way, I got in.

I like pretty buildings. I want to make pretty buildings and Lawrence Technological University is the school that can help me achieve my dreams. The first time I remember noticing a building, it was a church. I'm not sure where it was, but it was magnificent. The whole time I was there, my main focus was the ceiling. Where I come from, ceilings look like a flat, white piece of drywall. This was different. There were arches, there was stone, and it merged so effortlessly with the walls and windows that it appeared to be other worldly. Never before had I given thought to a ceiling, but after that, the thoughts wouldn't leave me. I realized I needed more of this, more pretty buildings.
I'm an art kid. I'm the one who turns in a math test covered in doodles, after which I go off to the nirvana of Commercial Art. Commercial Art taught me something that no other art class bothered with: Craftsmanship. Mr. Boyer, my teacher, thought that planning a project out and executing it perfectly was just as important as, if not more important than, having a good idea. I learned from him that a good idea isn't the only factor that goes into a good project, but that you need dedication and attention to the smallest of details to make a finished piece that you can be proud of.
For a long time, I thought that I wasn’t a natural leader. People didn’t gravitate towards the idea of following me, and it was a challenge for me to lead others in the right direction. Then I decided to become a counselor at the camp that I’ve gone to for years. Suddenly, I had to be a leader. People were relying on me. After the initial shock, I realized that I wasn't bad at it, that I could make judgments about the right thing for my group to do. I could persuade people to listen to me, and maybe, just maybe, I was a bit of a leader after all.
Everyone has their hopes and dreams. Some are possible, some aren't, but we cling to them because without them, we would have nothing. I want to re-purpose old buildings or design easy-to-construct, durable shelters for disaster victims. I want to make things that cause people to question the assumptions that they used to make about buildings. A building can change the world. I want to make magic, and architecture is that magic.
Lawrence Technological University can help me make magic and change the world through architecture. My leadership skills, dreams, and attention to detail will make me a successful architect.

Thursday, November 4, 2010


I haven't blogged in a week. I've been tired and stressed and portfolio day didn't go nearly as well as I had hoped, but that's okay. It's fine. I'm alive, I'm mostly functioning, my hair is blonde (but not the parts that I can actually see without a mirror. Funny, that.) I was Narcissa for Halloween.
I have these ideas of stories that are told with words and pictures, but they're not illustrated, per say. They're just stories with images that sort of vaguely relate. Not like when people (not naming any names here) are writing a blog post and are like "OMR, no one will read this without a PICTURE" and proceed to find a random picture of a field or sunset on flickr and post it. These would be illustrations, and they would preferably feel like this and this and this. Like the kind of book that you just want to put on your shelf and read and love and sniff occasionally.
The pile started to fall over today after I turned the light off and hit it at the wrong angle. This is slightly worrying. Do I need a new bookshelf? What am I going to do with these books when I get to college?
NaNo Excerpt time? I think so. You should feel so privileged in that you are allowed to read this, which just so happens to be my baby. I may have gotten into a physical fight with someone who was larger than me in order to maintain possession of this book. It's that important.

She insulted me, yeah, but the way she insulted me, you could tell she was thinking about how I felt and what I thought and what my place in the social order was. That's an exciting feeling that someone who was once a far off social stretch has noticed you and given you some thought.

So that's the end. It's a short excerpt. Also, why on earth am I incapable of writing a character who doesn't sound exactly like me? WHY? Am I just too cemented in my voice? WHY?
Also, I'm so freeking behind on my wordcount. Like, 3,600 words behind. Kill me now, kthnxbai.