Thursday, October 28, 2010


Tonight I'm going to go to quizbowl, then take the crap over to the library, then go home and work on the architectural drawing until my hair falls out.
Tomorrow I'm going shopping for various halloween related items and then going to my friends house to film a zombie movie. If I finish the drawing.
Saturday I'm going to an art class thing.
Sunday I'm going to Portfolio review day. I'm scared. What if they don't like me?
NaNo starts Monday. I have so much more planning that needs to happen. AHHH.

I may be bleaching my hair soon.
I may be considering a gap year because I can't handle getting into art school soon.
I may be considering learning Russian soon.

Skirt day was last week Monday.

Monday, October 25, 2010

(my life)

Didn't that book come out at around the same time as one of the Harry Potter books? And didn't they confuse me when they said "book release" on the news and I was like "OMG HARRY POTTER I LOVE HARRY POTTER AHH SO EXCITED" and then I saw Bill Clinton* and was like "dude, who cares about this guy?"

Anyway, today at lunch the topic of me and my physical ability came up. Someone asked if I thought I could beat up someone else at my table. I said maybe. They said no. Everyone else said no. This left me curious, so I began brainstorming the various people who I could beat up. Remember that earlier this day, I had gym. We're playing flag football, and every other down (play? whatever they're called) a girl has to be the quarterback. There's this girl on my team who's really athletic, so she's always quarterback when it has to be a girl.
She was tardy. I had to be quarterback. It was terrifying. I fell on my knee, which is currently bright red. Then I caught a ball the wrong way and jammed my finger and I could only bend it a little bit. I panicked about NaNoWriMo. Then I thought for a second and realized that planning to hand-write it was probably a good idea, since I don't need my right hand to write things. When I was on my way home, I shut my foot in the car door. Don't ask how it happened. I'm very poorly coordinated.
Other things that happened today: I was late for Gov, I did the wrong questions for Health, and I got two VHS tapes from the library stuck in the VCR. All I wanted was to be nostalgic for AP Euro with some Black Adder! That's all, I swear!
Today is one of those days that just makes you want to facepalm
*I've learned from my presidents. Don't inhale.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Bam bam bam

I want to start out with a quote.
“A paper town for a paper girl,” she says. “I read about Algoe in this book of ‘amazing facts’ when I was ten or eleven. And I never stopped thinking about it. The truth is that whenever I went up to the top of the SunTrust Building - including that last time with you - I didn’t really look down and think about how everything was made of paper. I looked down and thought about how I was made of paper. I was the flimsy-foldable person, not everyone else. And here’s the thing about it. People love the idea of a paper girl. They always have. And the worst thing is that I loved it, too. I cultivated it, you know? Because it’s kind of great, being an idea that everybody likes. But I could never be the idea to myself, not all the way. And Algoe is a place where a paper creation became real. A dot on the map became a real place, more real than the people who created the dot could ever have imagined. I thought maybe the paper cutout of a girl could start becoming real here also. And it seemed like a way to tell that paper girl who cared about popularity and clothes and everything else: ‘You are going to the paper towns. And you are never coming back.’”

I think people think that I've been being more and more introspective lately.
That's because I have been.
I don't really know why.
That's a lie.
There's a million little reasons why.
Talk to me. Just because I'm not talking to you doesn't mean that I don't want to talk, I've just...lost that ability.
Not that I ever had it in the first place.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Stalin's in the Closet

Michelle: Where's Stalin?
Mrs. AP Euro: Stalin's in the closet.
Here's the real question: is it homophobic to laugh at that? I don't think so.
I vaguely remember some article or pictures somewhere of a bunch of nude drawings that Stalin censored and wrote things on. Whatever he wrote, it made someone think he was gay. I got on google (because that is what I do) and found this and this piece of crap and this. Cooper Union, why do you have to be so hard to get into and so cool and so free?
It seems like sexuality has come up in about 16 bizgillion conversations of late.
I do not know why that is.

Monday, October 18, 2010

This is Ramblypants time

I do love my ramblypants.
Harry Potter. Someone told me today that Harry Potter will never be just a book for me, that I can never read it without my preconcieved views about it and my larger than reality ideas of Harry's world. First, my inner Drarry fangirl says this.
They're totally right. My first impressions were nothing. I was eight. I needed something bigger than me to be a part of, and Harry was it. Harry was there for me when I needed him. I reread the books so much, because if you're having a shit day (or a shit year, in some cases) Harry Potter makes it better. That says something about a creation, if it goes on to create more and more things and becomes so much more than the original. Think of the Bible. It's a book. No big deal. Would you say that the Bible represents a lot more than a book for some people? I think it does. It's inspired art, it's made it into an awful lot of literary references, and there's a lot of people who care about it. Let's just face it...there's a lot more Harry Potter fanfiction than for the Bible. Annnd, I would love to be in this room. So. Much. Even though HBC has wayyyy too much hair. I have a lot of hair, but no amount of product and curling could make it look half the size of that. Attention hair sylist: We may spend a lot of time on the internet, but we can tell when somone's hair looks completly impossible.School...Gov isn't going well. Lit's going well, I'll have to see how I do on this big epic scary essay that's due tomorrow. Health made me get a little teary-eyed today, but I pulled it together. Gym was good, mostly because I didn't have to sweat. IR was good until I went to the bathroom and people stole my spot so that they could be gross and couple-y while I sat on the floor and noticed a weird pang in my ribs. French was...a tad ridiculous. Moreso than usual. We walked around the room and waved our hands in the air. True story.
I need to start going outside more when the weather is nice. Tomorrow, after quizbowl (assuming it's not raining) I will be going on a bike ride. Fo' Sho'.
This is for you if you think it's for you..."I mean, to be honest, I’ve never even really understood the war between nerds and popular people. Like, who do…who do…who do you guys got? ‘Umm…we’ve got George W. Bush and, like, Tom Brady.’ Oh, okay. Well, I see your George W. Bush with Bill Clinton, and I raise you an Abraham Lincoln and a Franklin Delano Roosevelt. And, I can easily see your Tom Brady with the thinking man’s football player, Tiki Barber, and I think I can raise you, hmmm, an Isaac Newton, a William Shakespeare, a Blaise Pascal, an Albert Einstein, an Immanuel Kant, an Aristotle, a Jane Austen, a Bill Gates, a Mahatma Ghandi, a Nelson Mandela, and all four Beatles. We win." John Green, of course.
Umm...I haven't gone runnning in a week...and maybe a half. Yay fitness.
Umm...Art is killing me right now. We are artists, we create your world and we destroy it and we love to do so because we want you to ask the tough questions.
Wednesday is wear pink against bullying day, or if you're the kind of person who can say "gay" in public, it's wear purple in honor of those who've comitted suicide day. I will be wearing purple. Apparently it would be too political for my school to say "Don't bully people because they're gay." So they're sayng it's alright to bully people because they're gay? I'm confused. Anyway, the city where I live isn't the most...accepting and open-minded place in the world, but it could be a lot worse.
NaNo ideas are coming along nicely. Being misunderstood and failing at relationships because of it? Yayyy! Having minor characters and sub-plotzzz (finally!) for added depth? Yay!
This is a jazzhands opportunity.

Saturday, October 16, 2010


In first grade, we decorated the entire hallway with rainforest scenery. If I remember correctly, I made a macaw in art class. Speaking of art class, I saw my middle school art teacher at drawing today. It was weird. I don't think she saw me. I didn't say hi.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Quote of the Month

Disneyland will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left it the world.
Walt Disney.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


This is going to be a short post just to get things out of my mind. I haven't started on my homework yet. Things are getting urgent. I'm having more and more trouble thinking up relevant titles lately. Class went well tonight, and at the end, Sophomore said "It doesn't look like you even tried on the face." I gave him this look and he said "Oh. You actually did try." You idiot, I'm trying to get into college! Of course I'm trying to make this good! Why would I even show up if I didn't want to try? Why are you here, with your whateverH pencils and your distracting, relentless monologue? Grr. Anyways, I remembered my dream from two nights ago and I can't get it out of my head. My mom was telling me that my great-grandma killed a dog and then something about her hair. This is very odd. I took my great-grandma to the dentist today...and they're using my logo for the school play! Yay!
None of that made any sense to me, so it surely won't make sense to you.
I need to do my gov current events, my lit facebook thing, and my lit essay. Agh.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

"It was the imperial dream of a feudal age that made men enslave others."

That's from Native Son. Page 389.

Today's post is a list. I'm Samantha, and I think in lists. We talked about lists in health today and about ho they help me manage stress. Also, Mrs.Health teacher asked me if hi!School had gone by so fast and my answer was a resounding no. And no, the past three years were not the best years of my life either, because that would be sad and pathetic.
On with the list.
1. I think some grumpy old man called me a bitch today because I had the audacity to turn left at a four way stop. He was driving a black Chevy (impala?).
2. Peter brought gummy bears to quizbowl today. As always, I was cautious when taking food from Peter* but these gummy bears were mostly normal. A little bit less waxy and tasting more like actual fruit than regular gummy bears, but still good.
3. We spent half of quizbowl studying art today, but...there were so many things they just...didn't know.
4. The network went down at school today, and everything went crazy. It felt like what going to school 20 years ago felt like, but with elmos instead of overhead projectors.
5. Water-based markers of vellum!?!? Crazymaking.
*Remember the rice wine? That was gross and tasted like rubbing alcohol.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I'd just like to point out

That it's tententententen. And I'm so close to finishing this stupid drawing, you have no idea.

I'm thinking about professionalism and people who tragically misunderstand each other (Paper Heart) and supervillans who care about each other and art made of duct tape (DUCT TAPE!!!!) and strangely magnificant paper shapes and words in the sky and novels that are all part of the same story happening at different times.
Mental overload, just a little bit.
But I'm excited.
You want all those ideas mapped out, even if it makes for a less graceful and amazing blog post? You bet you do.
1. Professionalism. When do you become professional? Is it when you make money from something? Is it when you make a living from something? Is it when you go to college for something?
2. Paper Heart. That's the novella project, that's the NoQuNaNo, and that's the title that I just pulled out of thin air. Check it out, yo. Read it. Next summer. Tell your kids, tell your wife, and tell your husband.
3.The summer novel...Supervillans. There's four. The novel has pacing, yo.
*4. Duct tape. It looked like a painting. And then I went closer and it looked like cut out paper. And then I went closer and holy cow is that duct tape? It was ahamazing.
*5. Sculptural paper shapes. Sitting on the floor. It was awesome. They were folded paper, but they looked like they were magic.
6. Words. In the sky. This should happen in a movie.
7. A series of novels where different people tell different parts of the same story. Just thought of it today. May unseat the supervillans as the summer project. Is amazing, no?
*AAAAAAAAArtprize! I went there yesterday! It was awesome! It was mind-stretching! Yay!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Dear Universe

So...erm...someone messed with my blogger dashboard....erm...what's happening there?
Today kinda sucked. Someone took the time to tell me that I looked disheveled* during first block. My shoes were untied and I had gotten out of bed less than 20 minutes before. Big deal. It's first block. First block is as close to my natural state as most people will ever see me in at school. In nature, lives are nasty, brutish, short, and pantsless. Honey, you're lucky that you did not see my pale, purple-tinged legs today.
You know who does get to see my pale, purple legs every single day? My gym class. Sexy, right? I've been studying during gym. It's taken my mind off of the constant emotional pain that I feel.
Umm...And then I felt rather angsty and full of self-hatred** and then I talked to Emaline and felt better because I have something to challenge my health teacher about tomorrow/today. Also, I don't need health. I have Henrik Ibsen.

*If I was one of those women who look put together (you know what I mean), would I look sheveled? Is there an opposite of disheveled?
**Feeling this with alarming frequency. Need it to go away. RIGHT NOW.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

This post comes to you in five parts

Part One

Homecoming! Was great! Yay! People were pretty! We dared to venture into the middle grinding pit and came out sweaty and disgusting and in desperate need of a shower.
I started feeling a little bit nostalgic. This is my last homecoming. Ever.

Part Two
Jo. On Oprah! I watched it. Most of the stuff she said was in other video interviews*, but it was still cool. She's still my role model. Also, she's said before that she's estranged from her father, but in the interview, Oprah asked if she cared to share her reasons, and she said no. It really makes me wonder. Inventing possible histories right now.

Part Three
Quizbowl. I love quizbowl. It's great. But this year, it's kind of different. I feel weird about it.

Part Four
College! Columbus is looking nicer and nicer. I'm thinking about illustration more and more. I have no idea what I would do in illustration, but it

Part Five
I got into a college today**. Massive relief. My interview wasn't so much an interview as a "Let me recalculate your gpa. You're in. You should apply for scholarships. Take a free pen!"
No really, they had purple pens. It was awesome.

*Yes. I've watched them. ALL.
**So, uhh, if I wanted to...I could go to school for architecture. OH EM GEE CHOICES HOW WILL I COPE WITH ALL THE CHOICES PANIC TIME.