Inspiration

First off, I just realized that the Picasso exhibit I've been wanting to see was ending today. And I haven't seen it. RAGE.
Youth group was fun tonight. I showed everyone this t-shirt logo, and they liked it. I'm not sure if they actually liked it or if they were just trying to make me feel good. It's always weird when I make something, and it's something that I'm not very fond of, and people like it. It's uncomfortable. I just want to tell them "No, that's not very good. No, really, I swear I can do better. It's just that I have trouble with the computer, and I was drawing with a mouse, and I can't figure out how to make the path tool work correctly, so when I had it all plotted out, it just went and erased itself. My idea was so, so much better than the execution, it really was!" but they're just like "Ahhh, I like it. What colours is it going to be?"
Like that, but with text on the right. Is it blasphemous to change the cross and flame logo? The double flame is something that's a little...irritating.

So, I'm thinking about inspiration.* See, I've recently added a number of images to my bedroom walls where I keep pretty things. And I've asked myself "Is this too much? Is this overpowering?" and then I say "Why not? If you have walls, why not plaster them with the things that make you happy and inspire you and remind you of the DIA and The Importance of Being Earnest and last years auto show and Alice in Wonderland and buildings with walls that aren't perpendicular to the ground? Why not? And then I thought of dreams and passions and all those other things that give us a reason to get out of bed in the morning and all the other things that the universe has given us to contemplate so that we don't have to be just slouching towards death and the fact that there is so much out there, waiting for someone to make it. So I want to go draw the self portrait and draw the hipster chairs and draw the weird melted bottles that are like Chihuly** but not as cool and also a lot cheaper. And I want to write books and make a radio play (with all of the NPR personalities who we will kidnap and force to do the voices) and just create things, because OUR TIME IS NOW. So go. Go and do what you want to do, be the person who you want to be and seize the day.

That is all. Goodnight.

*Also, THE KING'S SPEECH kicked some ass at the Oscars. And Anne Hathaway wore about five thousand different dresses. Also, COLIN FIRTH. He may take over Alan's place in my heart. Alan, watch out. Do something awesome, right now, unless you want to lose some prime real estate.
**I am forever amazed at my ability to spell his name. I cannot usually spell "knowledge" but I can spell "Chihuly" right every single time. LIFE SKILL.

It seems like, lately, I've turned into some sort of inspirational blogger. Do not be worried. The change is not permanent. I'll be back to normal soon.

500.

Three and a half years ago, I started this blog. I was bored. I had an idea, and I ran with it.
And now, it's taken me far longer than it should have to write this blog post. I'm a disappointment to myself sometimes, but that's okay.
I feel like I should have something deep to say. That I've grown as a person, since I've been blogging. That I've pushed myself to new heights and become the person I want to be, but that's not true.
That's a total lie.
I'm not the person I want to be, I'm not living the way I want to live, I'm not even wearing the clothes I want to wear*. It's a little bit pathetic. Why don't we all live the lives we want to live, the lives we're destined to live? What's holding us back? Why the fuck not?
I haven't the slightest idea.
All I know is that we function in instants. I don't know what I'm going to do in the next sixty years or however long I have left, but I know what I'm going to do in the next instant. I'm going to type some more, then post this, then, then, then.
It's all kind of a series of thens. What happens when you run out? There has to be an end to the thens because everything ends sooner or later. We don't want to think about the end of the thens because it scares us. Because we're not in charge, because we don't know how to get in the driver's seat, because we're all just floating around in the great big universe, trying to make our way.
I love you, blog reader. I just want you to know that. I wrote this for you and for me and for every other imperfect human in this imperfect world.

*Actually, I like what I'm wearing today. Grey hooded sweater, green tank top, cuban boots and jeans. I like these jeans the best. It's the little things that count, right?

(my life)

Didn't that book come out at around the same time as one of the Harry Potter books? And didn't they confuse me when they said "book release" on the news and I was like "OMG HARRY POTTER I LOVE HARRY POTTER AHH SO EXCITED" and then I saw Bill Clinton* and was like "dude, who cares about this guy?"

Anyway, today at lunch the topic of me and my physical ability came up. Someone asked if I thought I could beat up someone else at my table. I said maybe. They said no. Everyone else said no. This left me curious, so I began brainstorming the various people who I could beat up. Remember that earlier this day, I had gym. We're playing flag football, and every other down (play? whatever they're called) a girl has to be the quarterback. There's this girl on my team who's really athletic, so she's always quarterback when it has to be a girl.

She was tardy. I had to be quarterback. It was terrifying. I fell on my knee, which is currently bright red. Then I caught a ball the wrong way and jammed my finger and I could only bend it a little bit. I panicked about NaNoWriMo. Then I thought for a second and realized that planning to hand-write it was probably a good idea, since I don't need my right hand to write things. When I was on my way home, I shut my foot in the car door. Don't ask how it happened. I'm very poorly coordinated.

Other things that happened today: I was late for Gov, I did the wrong questions for Health, and I got two VHS tapes from the library stuck in the VCR. All I wanted was to be nostalgic for AP Euro with some Black Adder! That's all, I swear!

Today is one of those days that just makes you want to facepalm

*I've learned from my presidents. Don't inhale.

Acquiring Awkward Absurdisim

I'm not quite sure what absurdist fiction is. Remember Fascism? It's like that.
"Absurdist fiction is a genre of literature, most often employed in novels, plays or poems, that focuses on the experiences of characters in situations where they ultimately cannot find, or where actions and events do not seem to be guided by, any higher purpose. Common elements in absurdist fiction include humour, satire, incongruity, the abasement of reason, and controversy regarding the philosophical condition of being "nothing."[1]. Works of absurdist fiction often explore agnostic or nihilistic concepts.
"While a great deal of absurdist fiction may be humourous or irrational in nature, the hallmark of the genre is neither comedy nor nonsense, but rather, the study of human behavior under circumstances (whether realistic or fantastical) that appear to be meaningless. Absurdist fiction posits little judgment about characters or their actions; that task is left to the reader. Also, the "moral" of the story is generally not explicit, and the themes or characters' realizations—if any —are often ambiguous in nature. Additionally, unlike many other forms of fiction, absurdist works will not necessarily have a traditional plot structure (i.e., rising action, climax, falling action, etc.).
"The absurdist genre grew out of the modernist literature of the late 19th and early 20th century in direct opposition to the Victorian literature which was prominent just prior to this period. It was largely influenced by the existentialist and nihilist movements in philosophy and the Dada and surrealist movements in art. Due to its non-conformist nature, many readers struggle with literary absurdism when they are first exposed to it. Indeed, it would be accurate to describe absurdism and absurdist fiction as an "acquired taste". Conversely, this genre is a favorite among scholars because it lends itself so well to interpretation, discussion, and debate."
Did I tell you how much I love it when I can fit an entire wikipedia article into a blog post? Does this mean that absurdist fiction is whatever you want it to be, as long as it makes very little sense? That seems like someone has just demolished the box I was trying to fit myself into. Absurdism seems to be like all other fiction, just another way for us to try and make sense of being human. I actually came to a ginormous revelation about this while ago, while I was trying to fall asleep with much futility (I cannot sleep while counseling. At all.), but I feel as though that is like a random discussion of sexuality: it might be better left unsaid.
In other news, my foot feels like it is going to fall off. Maybe not my whole foot. Maybe just part. Also, I learned to drive a stick shift today. Learned, in the sense that it's still pretty rough to start the car.
Aaaannnnnnnd, I finally saw A SINGLE MAN. This is crazy exciting. The movie was...well...it wasn't bad...it wasn't what I expected...but holy cow, the main character's house is gorgeous.
Isn't that what everyone gets out of the movies they watch?

You. Yes. You.

I've been toying with this question for a while now. How do you react to what I write? I get some of it in the comments, but what I'm really curious about is more than that. I want to know what would happen if I asked every single person I know to read my blog and then saw their reactions. I don't want their feedback, because feedback is self-censored and boring. I want their honest reaction, what they really thought about it. I know this is completely impossible to do, but it would be the most interesting thing ever.
What would my brother's reaction be? He would think that I'm concerned with ridiculously dumb things, which is similar to my opinion of him.
What would John Green's reaction be? If John Green read my blog, I would die of excitement. So, if you are John Green and you are reading my blog, please tell me.
What would the people who came here looking for Henrik Ibsen and Gustavus Adolphus' last words think? They would be wondering how I found these last words and when I'm going to tell them. In time, in time.
What would Chris Baty think? He would wonder if this is what all NaNo participants are like.
What would Barack Obama think? He would think that, even if he wasn't really expecting the Nobel Peace Prize, it doesn't mean that the country is falling apart.
What would my teachers' reaction be? Some would think it's interesting, some would think I'm twisted coughdreskecough and need to get a job to occupy my mind. Except that I have a job. And my mind hasn't changed in terms of twistedness.
What would those people who write 300,000 word novels in a month think? They would point to this as why I have to put so much effort into writing a 50,000 word novel in a month. Because blogging can be a timesuck. But a fun timesuck, at any rate.
Did I write this blog post because I don't want to do my physics homework and am at a loss for what to write in my speech for debate? Yes. Go ahead, judge. Have I also been trying to make my characters for NaNo a little more 3 dimensional? Yes.
If you've read the same books I've read, you'd get the reference in this post's title. If not, that's okay. You probably read some perfectly fine books in their place.

Love?

I'm at a point where I'm wondering if I love it, or if it's just something that I like right now, but I'll feel differently in a few months or a year. I'm sort of talking about art now, but the question applies itself to everything in my life. Writing? French? Blogging? Running away? They're all things that I'm into (the idea of, in some cases) right now, but I'm not sure about them in the long term.
This goes back to Kendall.
Apparently for Furniture Design, they do let almost everyone in. Because it's all furniture, there aren't very many people who want to go into it. Like Auto Design, that's the only thing you do your entire time in college. I like furniture design. I like it a lot.
But really, I don't love it.
Do I love history? Maybe. Do I love writing? I might. Do I love French? I do right now. Do I love blogging? Sometimes I do. Do I love the idea of running away? I often do.
But do I love any of these enough to spend forever on them? I really don't think I do.
Sometimes, you hear people talk about passion. So and so is really passionate about something. It makes them happy. They can spend all day doing it, day after day. There's nothing that has ever been like that for me, and that makes me curious.

Meat

I should be doing my Bio homework, but instead I'm explaining to myself why meat causes so many problems. This is one of those dumb ideas that will be funny later. Trust me.

Problems caused by meat

• World Hunger
• Bird Flu
• Pig Flu
• Genocide in Rawanda
• HIV/AIDS

Someone is going to say this is irrational. I could explain it, but I'd like to hear your explanations for the connections first.
I'm really not crazy. I promise.

Futuristic

Just like this cartoon.
I'm not a person who tries to be perfect or seems perfect or has ever gone within a million miles of perfection. I'm not good at school, I'm not the best at any hobby, I'm not the pretty one*. I'm fine with that. I'm me. I like that.
I will change the world. So will you.
When I can't sleep, I ask "what if?", it's alarming how much of this has to do with history, but that's probably just because Euro has eaten my mind. So it goes.
What if the Evil Baby Orphanage worked John's way instead of Hank's?
What if people hadn't convinced me that I was smart?
What if I was dedicated?
What if I grew up somewhere else?
What if I was born to the half of the world's population that lives on less than $2 a day?
What if I never meet Dean**?
What if I can't write this thing?
What if I've given up before I've even begun?
What if my butterfly killing theory of history is wrong?
What if this is it?
What if I stay here forever?
What if I leave?
What if I don't go to college?
What if I don't graduate?
What if I let the worst happen?


*Please do not leave the comment that you're maybe thinking of leaving.
**Dean is something like Edward Cullen in that he cannot be a real boy, but he is a figment of my imagination. Play along.

Answers for everyone!

AssassinsCall asked

Humanity needs, for the first time ever, a definition of "just friends" from a girl's perspective...ready? go! Just friends is pretty blurry. I've been "Just friends" with a guy who I liked but I was positive didn't like me back, so I just accepted that it wasn't going to happen. Most of the time, just friends means that there is very little chance of a relationship actually happening.
Why is the sky blue? The sky is blue because blue is in the colour that travels most easily through air. Same reason the ocean is blue. Also, magic.
What is the third section in The Communist Manifesto for? I haven't gotten to that yet. I'm at the part where the guy blames the bourgeoisie for all the problems. I get the feeling that he's a little nutty.

Luna Moon asked

Why can I never understand how to follow blogs? I'm not sure. If you go to the dashboard on blogger and scroll down a bit, there should be three brown tabs. They should be blogs I'm following, blogger buzz, and blogs of note. Click on the blogs I'm following one and look at the bottom of the box. It should have two buttons, one that says add and the other says manage. Click add and type http://froomla.blogspot.com into that box. You and your blog following should live happily ever after.
Oh, and what is the meaning of life? The meaning of life is to find a meaning. That's sort of a circular answer, but I find it to be very true.When you find your purpose, you do that for a long time and live happily ever after.

Andrea asked

When you bring up the subject of asking you questions, why do I feel the need to create the most-impossible-to-answer-question ever? Because you want to challenge me and see if I just struggle or come up with something awesome. I will come up with something awesome. That is how I roll.
Are you going to make a new layout? Probably not.

Or do you want me to make you a new one? If you'd like to, that would be pretty awesome.

How sick are you of your current layout? I like the backround, but I'm not real into the header. Maybe just change that?

Is break crippling your motivation like mine? Somewhat. I've been working on my homework, but I haven't done any of the Quiz Bowl study guides. I should be doing that.

Who do you think started the whole upward inflection at the end of a question? Someone who got pissed when they couldn't tell if people were asking them questions. They started doing it and then it just caught on so much. I wish I was that person.

If we didn't have that, then what would the warning be for a question? Nothing, which would suck.

Do we really *need* a warning for a question? I guess we do, or people would be slower in conversation, figuring out if someone was asking them a question or not... I agree. Also, people are stupid. They can't figure it out on their own, so people would never get their questions answered, and that would be very sad.

Bianka asked

why does life have to be so disappointing? but i'm going to the DIA today so that's not too disappointing... Bianka, your life is disappointing because you aren't using good grammar.

Questions, OMG

We need another question day. I have no school this week, and the things I talk about during bio (the end of humans) and euro (why would child prostitution be funny) often make good topics for blogging. The only other thing I have to blog about now is interior design. That would be me posting several hundred links, which I don't think anyone wants.
Anyways, ask me your questions. I will have an answer to all of them. I promise. Remember the last time we did this? Remember how wildly exciting it was? Yes.

Your questions, answered

Andrea! asked:
What is the meaning of life in a maxium of 5 words? 42, happiness, finding meaning
Which brand of rootbeer is the best? I like mug, but I know you like that one brand, Frostie
How many empty cans of rootbeer do I have on my desk? About a million
What is your favorite color? Let's go with purple. Dark purple, although I like dark red too.
Did you know I have a coupon for 55 cents off Mentos Gum? You're really lucky, Andrea
Why 55? 55 sounds nicer. Sort of like making things cost 4.99 instead of 5.00
Why not 50? Didn't you hear me the first time
That's pretty stupid, isn't it? I don't really see the point in coupons for gum, but whatever.
Oh, it's 55 cents off any two pocket bottles. That's not as exciting
I bet you wished you had that coupon. Not really. I'm not a big fan of mentos gum
Did you want me to be more serious? Nah. These questions are so much easier to answer
Are you excited for Christmas?! I was terribly excited for Christmas. It went relatively well, and even though one of my cousins was rather surprised by my religious views and got a little converty on me, I was much less annoyed by this than my mom was.

fiberfiend6891 asked:
If you could change your name to anything, what would it be? Something less popular. Did you know that Samantha was the fourth most popular name in the 90's? How sad is that? See here. For 1993, the top four for girls are Jessica, Ashley, Sarah, and Samantha.
Why do bad habits die hard? That depends so much on how you define bad habits and dying hard. I guess all habits die hard, but the only ones you're really trying to get rid of are the bad ones, so that's the only time you really notice it.
What's a soul? A soul is you. When you die, your soul goes into the bucket o' souls (not bucket of souls. O') and gets mixed in with all the other souls and that's where new souls come from. It's not like you can actually, like, touch it or something. Souls change and grow as you get life experience. Does that make sense?

Bianka asked:
why do some things seem so obvious to me and not other people? (and vice versa) Because everyone thinks differently. For instance, I recognize cars and tables and chairs when I see them, but many people do not. However, I suck at memorizing things.
why can't i be as good at quiz bowl as robert?? Because you are a human, not a superhero. It's okay. I'm just human too.
why do some things have to be complicated? Because people are complicated, because life is complicated. It would get annoying if it was more shallow.
why do people get offended so easily? Who did you offend? Because people are touchy about certain things. For instance, if you called someone around me a retard, I would be offended because I'm touchy about that, my life experiences have shaped that. Other people might not be offended because they don't have the same life experiences.
why is it not racist to call me white? I don't think it's racist to call someone brown either. I would prefer white to "Caucasian" where the hell is Caucasia? Does that mean that I'm not German and Lebanese and Irish and Dutch and English if I'm just "Caucasian"?
why am i so frustrated with this thing that's happening??? actually i already know the answer. I don't know what's happening. Email me about it, kay?

Zoopsia asked:
what the hell is water? H2O. It can be found in lakes and rivers and oceans and underground and in bottles by evil people who feel the need to steal our water and charge outrageous amounts for their wasteful containers.
who knows less: two people who know nothing about a subject or a lone person who knows nothing about said subject? One person. Assuming that all people have basic human knowlege, the two people have 2basichumanknowlege, but the lone person only has 1basichumanknowlege.
why does bianka have the impression that it's not racist to call her white? I'm not sure. Race seems to be one of those things that we just aren't allowed to talk about, and that's a problem. If we could just start a conversation and make sure that no one's going to get offended, then that would solve a lot of our issues.
why are womens feet shorter than mens? They aren't always. I have relatively large feet for a woman. It usually relates to height, and men are generally taller than women.
why are fire engines red? You do realize that the fire engines here are green, not red, right? I suppose that's the majority because red is visible no matter what season it is, along with the fact that if you see a giant red vehicle (the squad, my dad calls it) you are going to move. It's hard to confuse a giant red thing with much else.

Thanks for all the questions! It was buckets of fun to answer all of them. Buckets of fun is my new "thing", just like tragic and no shit were. I'm not sure how long it's going to last.