Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Three and a half years ago, I started this blog. I was bored. I had an idea, and I ran with it.
And now, it's taken me far longer than it should have to write this blog post. I'm a disappointment to myself sometimes, but that's okay.
I feel like I should have something deep to say. That I've grown as a person, since I've been blogging. That I've pushed myself to new heights and become the person I want to be, but that's not true.
That's a total lie.
I'm not the person I want to be, I'm not living the way I want to live, I'm not even wearing the clothes I want to wear*. It's a little bit pathetic. Why don't we all live the lives we want to live, the lives we're destined to live? What's holding us back? Why the fuck not?
I haven't the slightest idea.
All I know is that we function in instants. I don't know what I'm going to do in the next sixty years or however long I have left, but I know what I'm going to do in the next instant. I'm going to type some more, then post this, then, then, then.
It's all kind of a series of thens. What happens when you run out? There has to be an end to the thens because everything ends sooner or later. We don't want to think about the end of the thens because it scares us. Because we're not in charge, because we don't know how to get in the driver's seat, because we're all just floating around in the great big universe, trying to make our way.
I love you, blog reader. I just want you to know that. I wrote this for you and for me and for every other imperfect human in this imperfect world.

*Actually, I like what I'm wearing today. Grey hooded sweater, green tank top, cuban boots and jeans. I like these jeans the best. It's the little things that count, right?

5 Fab Fans:

Derek said...

You may not have the clothes, stardom, career, etc. that you dream of. You'll have that in time.
But you should want to be the person you are now. Because it's a pretty great person. Even amazing.

Luna Moon said...

Yeah, the whole style crisis? Try polyvore. I certainly had fun with it today.

Samantha said...

It's not about having clothes, it's about having style. A lot of people have clothes. And it's like...the right kind of stardom. Like Neil Gaimen/Ira Glass/Alan Rickman stardom. The kind of stardom where only nerds love you.
Thank you.
Polyvore? So on that. When I have more free time.

Bianka Rose said...

Oh thank you, I love you, too.

Samantha said...

Aww, I feel special.