Saturday, April 18, 2009


Just like this cartoon.
I'm not a person who tries to be perfect or seems perfect or has ever gone within a million miles of perfection. I'm not good at school, I'm not the best at any hobby, I'm not the pretty one*. I'm fine with that. I'm me. I like that.
I will change the world. So will you.
When I can't sleep, I ask "what if?", it's alarming how much of this has to do with history, but that's probably just because Euro has eaten my mind. So it goes.
What if the Evil Baby Orphanage worked John's way instead of Hank's?
What if people hadn't convinced me that I was smart?
What if I was dedicated?
What if I grew up somewhere else?
What if I was born to the half of the world's population that lives on less than $2 a day?
What if I never meet Dean**?
What if I can't write this thing?
What if I've given up before I've even begun?
What if my butterfly killing theory of history is wrong?
What if this is it?
What if I stay here forever?
What if I leave?
What if I don't go to college?
What if I don't graduate?
What if I let the worst happen?

*Please do not leave the comment that you're maybe thinking of leaving.
**Dean is something like Edward Cullen in that he cannot be a real boy, but he is a figment of my imagination. Play along.

2 Fab Fans:

Bianka Rose said...

those are some dangerous "what-if's"

Andrea said...

I ask a lot of those same questions. If you believe in the whole "every thing happens for a reason" then, well, maybe we're all supposed to have questions... Or we'd stop thinking. (I don't actually believe that, I think the world is screwing us over and just not giving out enough answers).

Mostly, though, I like your "so it goes." Vonnegut power!

And so on.