Wednesday, December 19, 2007

When will she shut up and knit something?

When did life get complicated? I remember life was easy in kindergarten. Life was pretty easy for all of elementary school, actually. Nobody really close to me died when I was in elementary school, so that would be a plus. I think fifth grade was when stuff started getting hard. My teachers and parents thought that I might be having seizures, so they made me have a MRI and an EKG. They found nothing, but the whole thing made me feel like... I don't know, like there was something wrong with me. Maybe I felt like I had a secret, maybe like I was different from everyone else (actually, I've felt that way forever, so i should have been used to it by now.) Fifth grade was also when I started getting homework. I went to the weirdo elementary school that used new teaching stuff and didn't give people homework, so the entire concept of getting homework that you were supposed to do didn't make much sense to me, and it still doesn't now. The philosophy of homework at my elementary school was that you get enough of school at school, you don't need to take it home. I wasn't in the same class as all my friends either, which sort of sucked. That was the year when Steven died too, which sent the entire year straight down the drain. Out of all the people I've known who have died, his was the worst, and I know exactly why. Here's the reason: He wasn't the kind of person who was allowed to die. Some people are allowed to die. Old people are allowed to die. Sick people are allowed to die. Steven wasn't allowed to die, not at all.
When are people allowed to grow up? When are people allowed to die? What defines, who defines stuff like that? When did life start to get hard for everyone else? Does everyone else use their blog as a virtual dumping ground for ideas, random crap coming out of their head, pictures of their shoes, pictures of their large white pieces of paper on walls, and yarn pictures? Does everyone besides for me blog for an audience? Can everyone else in the world see why I usually have trouble falling asleep at night? Am I totally excited about making sugar cookies tomorrow? Yes. Bye byes all.

And also, I'm practically a bizgillionare

1 Fab Fans:

LittleTree said...

Sam, Who is Steven?? I like to write knowing that someone will hear. There are many of us who like to let things out of our heads. I also do this type of thing in my leather Journal. I love my private thoughts, but I also like this public forum. Thanks for introducing me to it.