Full of Win

I have just finished Anna Karenina. Do you have any idea how accomplished that makes me feel? It's a good feeling. Trust me.
The last two pages felt like Kurt Vonnegut was whispering "So it goes" the entire time. I don't think Tolstoy did that on purpose, but I may be wrong.

Confuzzed

After Socialism, Fascism combats the whole complex system of democratic ideology, and repudiates it, whether in its theoretical premises or in its practical application. Fascism denies that the majority, by the simple fact that it is a majority, can direct human society; it denies that numbers alone can govern by means of a periodical consultation, and it affirms the immutable, beneficial, and fruitful inequality of mankind, which can never be permanently leveled through the mere operation of a mechanical process such as universal suffrage....

...Fascism denies, in democracy, the absur[d] conventional untruth of political equality dressed out in the garb of collective irresponsibility, and the myth of "happiness" and indefinite progress....

...iven that the nineteenth century was the century of Socialism, of Liberalism, and of Democracy, it does not necessarily follow that the twentieth century must also be a century of Socialism, Liberalism and Democracy: political doctrines pass, but humanity remains, and it may rather be expected that this will be a century of authority...a century of Fascism. For if the nineteenth century was a century of individualism it may be expected that this will be the century of collectivism and hence the century of the State....

From http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/mussolini-fascism.html

Basically, fascism is against everything. So really, the only thing that I know about fascism is that you need someone who has a strong personality, who the people believe in. Awesome. It also helps to have a terrible economy, so people will listen to and believe in a leader's big promises.

I've been thinking more and more about what it takes to be a strong leader. So far it involves making the people think that you are listening to them and giving them something to believe in. Other weird thing: French named their kids Aristotle. Russians named their kids Tractorina. Fail.

Also, it is snowing outside. I know that it has snowed in April before, but we've been having an average to warm spring. Funny.

Rewarded

Only, you know, not.
I have a story. We all have stories, but mine is the one that's getting told right now. You want to hear it. I can tell.
After school today, I had a Teen Advisory Board meeting at the library. I walk over there and do library things, like discuss the summer reading program. I grew up on the summer reading program. Feel guilty for not having gone to the last few meetings.
Call mom to come pick me up. While I wait, I plan for what I'm going to do when I get home. I was feeling unnaturally motivated. I knew that I had to do these two formative assements in a week or two for Bio, then write a paper for Euro, then write a letter to my senator (who kind of creeps me out) for Civics. I was planning to do the Bio and Civics right when I got home, then do the Euro tomorrow. I would finish my all homework before Sunday night/ Monday morning. I would be responsible.
I get home and go on the computer to look at the articles that the Bio test is on. I take notes on them. Me, taking notes for science. Clearly, I was trying to do well or something. I feel that I've read them enough and then go to take the quiz. I complete it, thinking I did pretty well. With the quiz program we use, it takes a few seconds, then shows you the questions you got wrong. It didn't do that this time, just closed the window. I go back on to check my score, and I got a 14. Out of 20.
What the fuck? I know genetics, I read the articles, I took notes, I was awake when I took the quiz. There were a couple questions that were not in the articles we read (for instance, one about ovulation. The articles had nothing to do with ovulation. Maybe the teacher just thought we would find it interesting? No. Not funny.) and since the window closed, I have no way to see which questions I got wrong.
Thank you, world. Thank you for rewarding my planning and motivation. Just because of that, I think I'll go off and read all evening or something, instead of working.

A Slippery Slope

Aside from being my favourite fallacy, I think this idea may turn into one.
"What idea?" You ask.
My manifesto. See, today in Euro, we had to read a bunch of sources and say weather or not they agreed with the idea that Einstein turned the world on it's head. There was the futurist manifesto, the dadaist manifesto, and we read the communist manifesto a while ago.
All the cool kids have manifestos.
Also, why not? I know what I think about all of this is going to change, probably change very soon. Why not record it now?
That is why I need a manifesto.
Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold and die.

Please?

Could this be real? I want it to be real. Because that would be hilariously awesome.

Well You Know...

I've just been thinking. As you should know, I think purely in bullet points.

• Birthdays. Ibsen, Quizbowl Coach, Great-Grandfather, Andrea. Epic.
• Hot, Flat, and Crowded. I've been reading it, but I'm only about fifty pages in. It's pretty interesting. Basically, we need to reduce our energy consupmtion, because India is going to start consume as much as us very soon, except they have a much higher population. We will be screwed then.
• Anna Karenina. I have 200 pages left. SO. CLOSE.
• Oops. In Euro, we have these unit plans things, and I had gotten mine all togetherand finished it during class so I could turn it in...and then I walked out with it. I realized it when I got to my locker, but by then it was a choice between maybe making it on the bus or taking it back to the classroom. She'll accept it tomorrow, right? Hopefully.
• Knitting. I haven't been doing much of it lately. Probably because I spend too much time blogging, you know?
• Youtube. It has been at least two weeks since I have watched a fivevlogginggirls video. Do you understand how distressing that is? I am making a video today.
• Sleep. Something strange has happened to my sleep patterns. I fell asleep at 3:00 and woke up at 7:00.
• My dad. He is currently having a conference call with all of my aunts. He is very good at projecting his voice, because everyone needs to hear every detail of his side of the call. Thanks.
• Hupix. This is a greatly underused word. It means something along the lines of situation or predicament. "Samantha, you're in quite the hupix."

Wheee!

I've been hyper all day. Toes tapping, skipping down the hallway, laughing my head off at things that aren't really funny, hyper. I said whee several times while accelerating.
I'm currently in that weird hyper-tired state, where you know you should probably go to bed, but have so much energy. Yay!
So, things that are on my mind

• Tiny houses (again! It's crazy)
• The fact that I have not checked ApartmentTherapy in at least 24 hours. Some would consider this a sign of growth, but those people are not the ones planning to look at it right after they finish writing this.
  
• Advice to Sink in Slowly. If only school advice stuff was...cuter.
• I'm happy with my life right now. I'm really lucky that I can say that and be serious.
• If you had to live with any one person you know for the rest of your life, who would it be? That's a weird question, I know.
• At least I figured out what the song was.
• 
  

School is a Scary Place

Real life is scary. It's a really disturbing idea that one day, I'm going to have to be something like an adult. We're doing career planning at school right now, and that's the reasoning behind some of this freaking out. Career planning is basically telling us the horrifying statistics of how we're going to be unemployed, how our careers don't exist yet, how India is going to pwn us, how we have to plan NOW, how college is so hard to get into. It's crazy.
I'm pretty sure that they know that we don't think it's as big of a deal as they make it seem. That's why they exaggerate everything, to freak us out and make us think that this is a serious issue. Someone needs to let them know that I see right through them, and I'm not worried enough.
Dear School,
Fail. I win. Hah.
Your friend Samantha

I have this feeling that I will either be this wildly awesome sucessful adult, or I'll be living with my parents when I'm 35.

This Rant Comes in Four Parts

Four parts! Exciting, right?

Part One
I need this all to stop. I don't have a plan for my future, and I don't really want to have a plan for my future. When other people go on and on about what they want to do if they grow up in a serious way, that freaks me out. I'm scared shitless. I'm scared of being horrifically boring. I'm scared of being normal. I feel like I don't want the same things that they want out of life, but I don't know what I want out of life, so I might end up wanting what they want just by default.

Part Two
Nationalism, Germany being stupid, and general tension. Those things started WWI. I think nationalism and tension were the sort of thing that you'd have to go back 200 years to change, but Germany being stupid was completly preventable. It seems like germany really needs a war going on if they want any sort of unity . It's Wagner, the German unification after the Franco-Prussian war, it's just the German mindset at the time.
Germany, why do you have to be such idiots?
Would I be saying something else if I wasn't part German?
Is Euro invading my mind?

Part Three
That story. Yeah, that one. It isn't working. I have ideas, but they're all just stuck in my head, bouncing around and making me crazy. I'll write tonight. I say that every night, but maybe it will actually happen since I've put it in writing and let the world know.

Part Four
Jello is the official state snack of Utah. I am serious. I laughed about this for half an hour last night while eating jello. Maybe I just really wanted to laugh about something?

Things That Annoy Me

The biggest one right now is my school.
It starts early in the morning.
They limit how much space you have to save things, meaning that even if you go through and delete everything you did in middle school, you will not have enough space to save your work.
Everything is blocked. Even things that are for school. Ever tried researching sex ed? It doesn't work. Ever tried reading blogs, even blogs that could be for a school project? Doesn't work.
I can't see my blog. I can go on blogger, but I can't see what I post from school, which freaks me out. What if the formatting is wacky? How will I know to fix it?
My civics class. I like my teacher, but the class is dead. Honestly, there are four people who talk.

There is a rather large possibility that I'm just channeling overall anger into anger at school.
But don't you like my pretty new layout?
Yeah. I like it too.

Made me laugh

Playing with Photoshop

Stuff I Like Right Now

These.
Pantone canisters? Want.
This home tour, especially this picture

The weather right now. It was super warm (I went outside in a t-shirt and no shoes) yesterday, and now it's just warm and rainy and awesome.

Eurhoes

I have no homework today and I'm going on a field trip tomorrow (DIA FTW), so I could be writing or reading or doing something that has nothing to do with school. Instead, I will write about AP Euro. That is what we do.
I signed up for AP Euro thinking that it would be about European history. It would be fun, because I like history. It doesn't really have to do with history. Sure, you talk about imperialism and whatever, but the real thing you're going to remember about that class will be the inside jokes. Well, the jokes and the primary documents.
The Italians wanted to get some too? Yep. Machevellian anything? Someone had a facebook status that involved that. China is big and yellow. Utopian socialists were undoubtedly the coolest political party ever. Not because I was a member, but because they liked order and actually had plans for it.
It just seems like no matter where you go, some random joke from Euro comes up, and that's scary.
My brain: 15% Euro, 40% Debate or Quizbowl, depending on the season, 20% Interior Design, 20% Blogging, 5% the rest of school.