Camp. And Holden Caufield. And Secret Life of the American Teenager

As you may have noticed, I have a new layout. I think it's superfabulousamazing. Across The Universe (Andrea) made it.
Camp was absolutely amazing. Next summer I shall spend at least three weeks there, instead of the usual one. I really love it. There's just something about being outside and really getting in touch with nature that makes me feel so much better.
The next matter of business is all about a book. I'm reading The Catcher in the Rye, and I really like it. I kind of started reading it so that I could practice my critical analysis skills with John Green and the Nerdfighters. Because this book has symbolism. John says that Holden isn't likable. Maybe I'm just strange, but I really like Holden. He feels real, a lot more real than a lot of characters in YA books.

Apparently he's no Edward Cullen. But, honestly, what does Edward Cullen have going for him? Sure, he's hot. But he's a little bit creepy-controlling and he needs to let Bella decide things for herself. Please note that I have not read New Moon or Breaking Dawn, so don't tell me what happens. This doesn't mean that I'm on Team Jacob either. Because that would be wrong.
On to the current television discussion. Okay, I'm a little too obsessed with Secret Life of the American Teenager. I shall post my commentary, which is a little sparse towards the end of the episode. It's full of spoilers. I have this feeling that I will regret this soon, so we're posting it in tiny font. To annoy you.

Tick tock tick tock. Amy’s sitting and staring. Her mother is making coffee. How exciting. I already know what happens next from the online previews. Shock. Startled. Blink blink. I’m having a baby! Srsly? That’s not possible (you have a uterus, it’s possible) Your ego is preggo homeskillet. Doctor high tower told her that you’re having a baby . Shock. You can’t be pregnant. How does this normally happen? This is totally a conspiracy theory Srsly? Are you lying ? Srsly? Yes. She knows. Did you know? This is so cheesy It was aliens!! Aliens!!!!!!!!!! Aliens. Go to your room. An abortion? What’s that? I don’t know? Let’s think!?!? Let’s think about our options. I can’t be here if I have a baby I can’t stay here. Head hands. Theme song
Practicing her French horn. How exciting. She didn’t tell me. Hippa laws, duh. That’s why she didn’t tell you. Yes, you have to tell your parents. I don’t want to have this baby. I can’t tell you to have a n abortion. It’s your choice. It’s illegal to force someone to have an abortion. Didn't you’ you plan for sex! Plans!!!You can go away until the baby comes. She doesn’t need to know your dad left either. Double question moment. I want to get married to Ben Can I get married. You got served! Your marriage was in trouble. I should have told you. It’s all your fault that he left. I can’t wait inside. I hate you,. I hate this house. I’m going to be super angry, You can’t send Amy away. Don’t let her go. God, this is hilarious! These moments are why I love this show so much. The whole world knows. Cell phone. Dad wants to talk. This is when she tells her dad that she’s preggo. So. Don’t come home. Or anything. Cry cry. I think I need to tell you something. Did you stop supplying me with free sausage. She’s pregnant. Phone stealing. Just let me think. I can’t think while you talk on the phone. Cue strange, seventh heaven like music. Texted. God, that sounds terrible. I can’t believe you told your parents. God Madison, other people can handle making their own decisions. Lauren is so right on so many levels, Ricky is kind of annoying. OMG, where are you? Your phone was off. Have you heard that Amy is preggo? I’m going to pull you over to the locker so that I can talk to you. That’s how things happen. Jealous of grace. ?? Grace thinks that someone else is cheating on here. I wound never be irresponsible. I would never be the man whore that Icam Adrian is right. Did you read the bible? I can get you a bible! Yay bibles! OMG, YOU THINK SHE S HAVING AN ABORTION. I have to be a stupid conservative asshole that makes a ll Christians look babd. Call ashley. She’s wearing a creepy dress and making a sandwhich. I shall talk to you in my super deep voice. Oh snap. She knows we told people. I’m going to go there. God, she looks way opregnangthere. Wow. Yay@! Yay bible! I’m such a holy person. Let’s call her again. Let’s call her sister. She can answer with her super deep voice! Yay! You told everyone that she was pregnant, you buttheads! OHHHHHHHH SNAP. We have to go over there.
You still have your phone? OMG!!! I needdddd it..
Ben needs to go to Amy’s house. The whole world needs to go to amy’s house. Adrian will take them there!!!!
Amy’s mom is calling the ob-gyn. Amy is going to a clinic with Adrian. And Ben is coming, apparently. It’s better if you don’t know. Why would be looking for Ben? What aren’t you telling me. What the hell? You think they should get married? Why? Why would they get pregnant if they were good kids? She’s my baby. What? EMERGENCY. Go! Go Go! Where’s Amy? Bathroom. Yeah right.
Married!!!!You told her it’s Ricky’s baby? Wha???? You’re going to have a baby. I will force you to have a baby?!!! Ricky will not marry either of you. Let’s go kill Ricky. Or just hug. Or whatever. Come on, I need to come home. Take me back. You neeeeed me. Oh snappp How do you face people? What are you doing here? Let’s yell at each other in the abortion clinic. I’m so sorry I yelled at you. Do you still wanna get married. Hun, it’s all Ricky’s fault. Grace, shut up. Stop being all holier than thou. Jack liked me. Ricky wants to be born again. Let’s pray. Still hugging. This was totally caused by a French horn. And Ricky’s bad. And is your mother dating? Holy shit, I’m banging the sluts mother. And I’m lying. Duh. They’re going to kiss now. Ricky and Adrian. Either that, or fight. Who knows. Oh yeah!!! I’m riiiight. I win!! Ricky’s having a baby. Apparently. That doesn’t make much sense. Whatever. Jack wants to be with grace again. Wow. Upppin the cheeeeeeese. Apparently a marriage between fifteen year olds won’t work. How surprising. Her parents won’t let her. BBBBBUT. I love her. And someone broke your heart. But. What if this doesn’t work out? Let;s get pizza. And you can spill your guts and we;ll all live happily ever after. I don’t think she had an abortion. Huh. I want to marry Ben. Because we love each other. You’re in a difficult situation. Seriously? You think this is difficult? It's a walk in the park. Apparently being rescued has consequences. No shit Amy, do the math. It’s not your imaginary sibling. Duh. I’m happy that this happened. Even though i got pregnant at eighteen by a guy who had already been married. Appaerntly having a baby hurts. No duh. I couldn’t figure that out on my own.

That was...interesting. I made one of these mats today. And I made about a million sandwhiches, which was made of awesome. Well, kind of. Not really. But I can make like six sandwiches at once, which is a valuable life skill.

I am finally blogging...

to tell you that I will not be blogging for a week. Sorry! I'm going to be kayaking in Lake Superior. It will be super exciting, and there will be pictures if I can smugglemy camera out of my house without my dad noticing. He thinks I would drop it in the water and then the world will end. Honestly, it would just be an excuse to get a new camera.
I just finished Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac, and I love it so much. It's totally as good as Zevin's first book, Elsewhere. You should read both of them right now. Go to the library. I'll return it tomorrow. You will read it. You will be amazed.

How do you feel about this passage? I just wrote it last night while watching Secret Life of the American Teenager (which I love, by the way). I think it either sounds really good or really corny.

Dear You,

I have to get away from these memories. I’m drowning in them. I think there’s an acceptable period of mourning , almost like we require people who have shit happen to them to sit and think about it for a while. I want that to be over right now. I just want to get on with my life, but my brain, my memories, they’re all stuck, in this rut where it’s all I can think about but I don’t want to think about it and I’m afraid if I let my brain have free reign over my memories, then I’ll go crazy. That makes no sense, but it explains how I feel perfectly. It’s just like there are a lot of times when I would give anything on earth to forget about everything, to be exactly the person I was before. The other half of the time, I just want to think about everything that happened, like I can learn from it. I have to be able to learn from it, otherwise I would have just lost everything. I like to think that when you lose something that big, you have to be able to gain something back. Maybe it’s a completely different something, but it’s still there. It’s like how energy cannot be created nor can it be destroyed, it still has to be there in some form or another. It’s gotta be a different form, and it’s probably harder to find and harder to use, but it’s still there. Still there.

You know you wanna watch it.

Please tell me

That you know what today is. What were you doing a year ago?
I'm rereading it today. Be excited.

Yowza. Or designey things.

Sooo much has been happening lately. I had MAGIC camp this past week, which was super fun, but really tiring, espically because I had to be there at 9:00 every day. MAGIC and this piece on NPR (<3) style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 118px; height: 89px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVOUxksOfVznckZnTA4qtv78B9Zpej-r4X53uaMbLwyYVHxLn3e_Hk73GEEpPLXUKg9uLNO8rtkSlSruBox0m44G_KL7pAqqDtnRSMEIHlbWu4fNYD7eolnIpb6dj1pHMmNaSn8iRinFo/s400/weebee_thumb.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225354097759375714" border="0">That's a Weebee, by Tumbleweed Tiny Houses. It's 102 square feet.

This is a V2. The website is remarkably cryptic, so they won't tell you how many square feet it is.
I really want to live in something like this one day. The average american house measures about 2,500 square feet. Three or four people don't really need that much space, and I sort of think that it makes you disconnected from nature. I spent all of today inside, in the car, in the theatre, or going to and from the car. What kind of life is that? I haven't felt the grass at all today. I haven't really lived.
Back to my small house dreams. I think that I could handle living in about 400 square feet. My family room is 425 square feet, and I think that I could put all my stuff in there, along with a kitchen and bathroom. I could get solar pannels for the roof and maybe another one to sit outside. I really want to live like this, and I don't really know why. Huh.

I have no idea what is up with all the weird posts lately.

Honestly. It's not my fault.
Do you ever wonder if you're going to look back in five or ten or twenty years and regret everything you're doing right now? I mean, will I regret spending time blogging and writing and listening to Pandora? Would I not regret hanging out with my friends all the time? Would I not regret partying a lot?
Regret is a very strange beast, and I always seem to be full of it.

FiveAwesome...well....

I have an idea.
Do you have any clue how many very bad things start with those four words?
Anyways, this idea involves the YouTube.
Here's what I need.
Four people who have access to a video camera and a strong sense of commitment.
I want to make a channel on YouTube, something similar to FiveAwesomeGirls. Everyone would get a day of the week, and they would have to make a video blog on that day, every week.
You want in? Here's what you should do.
Send an email to hpfan56 AT gmail DOT com. Change the obvious.
In said email, tell me why on earth you would want to participate in my experiment. Here is an acceptable response.
Hey! I'm Samantha and I would like to participate in your fiveawesome...thing for quite a few reasons. I'm really interested in how the internet has changed personal relationships, and I would like to know if it's really possible to become friends with someone purely over the internet. I always like to meet new people and frankly... I have nothing better to do this summer. Thank you for your time in considering me for the channel.
See guys? It's not rocket science. You know you want to take part.

Count your blessings

Things that make me happy:
*Books. Just the concept that some random idea that some random Australian guy thought up could make it's way into my hands is astonishing.
*My VPS (Very Painful Sunburn) is almost healed.
*Blogging. There are people who want to read things that I write. Squee!
*This guy. I want to be him if I grow up.
*The general idea that junk causes suffering. Basically, have less crap. I need to do some...adjusting in the form of cleaning to fully...understand this idea.
*Just...Yay!

Fruitless attempts at a title.

I had an awesome day today. I hung out at my friend's cottage and spent the whole day tubing and making futile attempts at knee boarding and water skiing. It was a pretty awesome day.

I just sort of feel lout of my skin now. Like I can't be here. Like I should be running outside and dancing. Like I belong somewhere else.

I guess I don't really know how to describe it. Huh. When was the last time that you couldn't put how you felt into words?

Wow. I could pretty much conquer the world.

Hey. I got to 25,000 words last night. I could jump over the moon right now, I'm so freeking happy. It just feels like it took me so long to get here. I think that I could definetly write 1,500 words every day for the next...few days.
I'm going to write now, but I will leave you with the words leading up to 25K.

Does this mean that I have some deep accountability issues? Yes. Does it mean that I really really really should stop diagnosing myself with mental issues and go to bed already? Probably. You know, I probably have multiple personality disorder or something, what with all these voices talking inside my head.