Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Are you Okay?

Maybe. Not really sure.

I wasn't going to blog today. I have too much homework, and I have this bio test tomorrow that isn't my final, but it's still a pretty big deal.
That bio test is the reason I am borderline not okay.
I'm getting a B in bio. An 81%. And then I have 2% extra credit (!) and I have a test and a project to do before the final, which is worth 20% of the grade.
So if I get a really good grade on this test, and a really good grade on this project, and a really good grade on the test, then I could get an A in this class. I want that A.
Understandably, I'm a little freaked out about this test. And it's sort of paralyzing. And I know I want to do well, but what happens if I don't do well? Then I'm screwed. Well, not screwed, but I'm letting them be right. Other people seem to percieve me as someone who is really smart. And then they find out my grades and decide that because my grades aren't awesome, I'm a dumb kid who hangs out with smart people. Someone in my bio class told me this (in less words) today.
And that pisses me off.
Because I don't think being good at school automatically makes you smart, and I don't think being smart automatically makes you good at school. I sort of think of them as two vaugely related entities.
I think I'm reasonably smart, but not that good at school.
And yeah, you could explain that away by saying that's how dumb kids make excuses for their stupidity.

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