I am finally blogging...

to tell you that I will not be blogging for a week. Sorry! I'm going to be kayaking in Lake Superior. It will be super exciting, and there will be pictures if I can smugglemy camera out of my house without my dad noticing. He thinks I would drop it in the water and then the world will end. Honestly, it would just be an excuse to get a new camera.
I just finished Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac, and I love it so much. It's totally as good as Zevin's first book, Elsewhere. You should read both of them right now. Go to the library. I'll return it tomorrow. You will read it. You will be amazed.

How do you feel about this passage? I just wrote it last night while watching Secret Life of the American Teenager (which I love, by the way). I think it either sounds really good or really corny.

Dear You,

I have to get away from these memories. I’m drowning in them. I think there’s an acceptable period of mourning , almost like we require people who have shit happen to them to sit and think about it for a while. I want that to be over right now. I just want to get on with my life, but my brain, my memories, they’re all stuck, in this rut where it’s all I can think about but I don’t want to think about it and I’m afraid if I let my brain have free reign over my memories, then I’ll go crazy. That makes no sense, but it explains how I feel perfectly. It’s just like there are a lot of times when I would give anything on earth to forget about everything, to be exactly the person I was before. The other half of the time, I just want to think about everything that happened, like I can learn from it. I have to be able to learn from it, otherwise I would have just lost everything. I like to think that when you lose something that big, you have to be able to gain something back. Maybe it’s a completely different something, but it’s still there. It’s like how energy cannot be created nor can it be destroyed, it still has to be there in some form or another. It’s gotta be a different form, and it’s probably harder to find and harder to use, but it’s still there. Still there.

You know you wanna watch it.

Please tell me

That you know what today is. What were you doing a year ago?
I'm rereading it today. Be excited.

Yowza. Or designey things.

Sooo much has been happening lately. I had MAGIC camp this past week, which was super fun, but really tiring, espically because I had to be there at 9:00 every day. MAGIC and this piece on NPR (<3) style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 118px; height: 89px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVOUxksOfVznckZnTA4qtv78B9Zpej-r4X53uaMbLwyYVHxLn3e_Hk73GEEpPLXUKg9uLNO8rtkSlSruBox0m44G_KL7pAqqDtnRSMEIHlbWu4fNYD7eolnIpb6dj1pHMmNaSn8iRinFo/s400/weebee_thumb.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225354097759375714" border="0">That's a Weebee, by Tumbleweed Tiny Houses. It's 102 square feet.

This is a V2. The website is remarkably cryptic, so they won't tell you how many square feet it is.
I really want to live in something like this one day. The average american house measures about 2,500 square feet. Three or four people don't really need that much space, and I sort of think that it makes you disconnected from nature. I spent all of today inside, in the car, in the theatre, or going to and from the car. What kind of life is that? I haven't felt the grass at all today. I haven't really lived.
Back to my small house dreams. I think that I could handle living in about 400 square feet. My family room is 425 square feet, and I think that I could put all my stuff in there, along with a kitchen and bathroom. I could get solar pannels for the roof and maybe another one to sit outside. I really want to live like this, and I don't really know why. Huh.

I have no idea what is up with all the weird posts lately.

Honestly. It's not my fault.
Do you ever wonder if you're going to look back in five or ten or twenty years and regret everything you're doing right now? I mean, will I regret spending time blogging and writing and listening to Pandora? Would I not regret hanging out with my friends all the time? Would I not regret partying a lot?
Regret is a very strange beast, and I always seem to be full of it.

FiveAwesome...well....

I have an idea.
Do you have any clue how many very bad things start with those four words?
Anyways, this idea involves the YouTube.
Here's what I need.
Four people who have access to a video camera and a strong sense of commitment.
I want to make a channel on YouTube, something similar to FiveAwesomeGirls. Everyone would get a day of the week, and they would have to make a video blog on that day, every week.
You want in? Here's what you should do.
Send an email to hpfan56 AT gmail DOT com. Change the obvious.
In said email, tell me why on earth you would want to participate in my experiment. Here is an acceptable response.
Hey! I'm Samantha and I would like to participate in your fiveawesome...thing for quite a few reasons. I'm really interested in how the internet has changed personal relationships, and I would like to know if it's really possible to become friends with someone purely over the internet. I always like to meet new people and frankly... I have nothing better to do this summer. Thank you for your time in considering me for the channel.
See guys? It's not rocket science. You know you want to take part.

Count your blessings

Things that make me happy:
*Books. Just the concept that some random idea that some random Australian guy thought up could make it's way into my hands is astonishing.
*My VPS (Very Painful Sunburn) is almost healed.
*Blogging. There are people who want to read things that I write. Squee!
*This guy. I want to be him if I grow up.
*The general idea that junk causes suffering. Basically, have less crap. I need to do some...adjusting in the form of cleaning to fully...understand this idea.
*Just...Yay!

Fruitless attempts at a title.

I had an awesome day today. I hung out at my friend's cottage and spent the whole day tubing and making futile attempts at knee boarding and water skiing. It was a pretty awesome day.

I just sort of feel lout of my skin now. Like I can't be here. Like I should be running outside and dancing. Like I belong somewhere else.

I guess I don't really know how to describe it. Huh. When was the last time that you couldn't put how you felt into words?

Wow. I could pretty much conquer the world.

Hey. I got to 25,000 words last night. I could jump over the moon right now, I'm so freeking happy. It just feels like it took me so long to get here. I think that I could definetly write 1,500 words every day for the next...few days.
I'm going to write now, but I will leave you with the words leading up to 25K.

Does this mean that I have some deep accountability issues? Yes. Does it mean that I really really really should stop diagnosing myself with mental issues and go to bed already? Probably. You know, I probably have multiple personality disorder or something, what with all these voices talking inside my head.