Sunday, May 23, 2010

Thinking about Stuff

When I capitalize the S in stuff, you know it's a big deal.
You shouldn't feel like you have to read this post. If I were you, I wouldn't. I would run the other direction, to some fanfiction. It will make you happy. In fact, there was this one fanfiction that took on a lot of cliches and should have been horrible, but something about the execution just made it perfect, just let me find you the link.
I saw Our Town today, and it made me get all teary-eyed. I've never cried at a play before, and I rarely cry at movies*, but this made me get teary eyed to the point where I would have been bawling had I not been concentrating very hard on not crying.
And it was all about living and being truly awake and I know that I just can't wake up, because waking up hurts and sleepwalking is so easy. And I think that maybe none of us really want to wake up. We might say we do, we might put in a half-hearted effort, but it's so comfortable to be asleep and to fit in with everyone else. I don't know if I want to think about every single moment, because that's just too much pressure. And maybe I'm running from something, and maybe I have nothing to run from at all and maybe I'm just an overdramatic whiny teenager who can never ever be taken seriously and maybe I'll never change. Maybe you'll never change either maybe that's a good thing maybe we should never get old and just stand here holding hands in the night air for hours on end and both thinking about the state of the world and not bothering to say anything because we are above words for now at least is it weird that I listen to Ira Glass and I have this short story called the yellow wallpaper open in another tab the only thing it makes me think about is the fact that some fool painted a bathroom at church a horrid yellow and when I think about that I lose a little bit of faith in humanity and a little bit of my eyesight oh no I can't lose my eyesight, then I'll end up like crazy old Milton and I'll dictate my words to you and make you write them down because that's why you're here, isn't it?
Gee, I feel like I'm channeling the crazy right now.
I wrote a little bit on The Steampunk Thing tonight. And by a little bit, I mean that it was somewhere between ten and one hundred words. We're not pullling a 10k night or anything here, but a part of me needs that kind of wild adreneline right now, so we're not ruling out a crazy writing night as a possibility. Doing crazy stupid things makes me feel awake.
I need to get my books for APUSH and work on the freeking drawing tomorrow. When I'm refreshing my blogger dashboard over and over tomorrow, waiting for a comment, this should remind me of what I should be doing**.

*Books, however, are another story. I think it has a lot to do with character development, in that I get very attached to certain characters.
**Yeah, I reread that sentence and puked.

2 Fab Fans:

Bianka Rose said...

...Run-on sentence, anyone?

Samantha said...