Thursday, July 16, 2009

Paused

I hit the pause button. And now I'm wandering around while everyone else is frozen in place. I don't think they can see me and I don't care if they do. And I run and climb and scream and laugh and it's amazing. And I throw a rock at a window. It bounces off. I punch people, I just bounce back. And it all stays the same and it's comforting. But at the same time, it's scary. It's not supposed to work, the pause button. None of them, nothing except for play is supposed to work.
But even when it's going okay, even when you hit play, it's scary. It's really scary. Because with play comes the questions. Questions that are hard to answear. Not "Name the author of Ghosts" or "What's the capital of Bangladesh?", I can answear those. These questions are like "Will you ever be anything?" "Do you want to go on?" "How are you going to get out?" "Will you ever get out?"

And that's what really scares me.

2 Fab Fans:

fiberfiend6891 said...

My gut reaction was 'I NEED that pause button!' But then I thought - how would I know when to use it? If I used it whenever I wanted to, that would be too much. And if I tried to be reasonable, I'd never use it. But this summer...I wish...

Samantha said...

The pause button will mess with you.