I am an awkward turtle.

And I can never remember people's names.
And I never spend more than fifteen minutes getting ready in the morning.
And I have no idea what an iambic rhythm is.
And I still haven't opened my report card.
And I get too aggressive in arguments.
And I still haven't started writing FILM SCHOOL.
And I don't like my thighs.
And I haven't been doing the reading for psych.
And I'm behind on all my homework.
And I'm okay with that, in some weird, inexplicable way.

Just a thought

What if you're afraid of being normal because if you're normal, no one will care? Like what if you feel this need to be consistently outrageous, and without that, you fear that you're nothing at all?

That was a plot bunny, right there.

If I wasn't an artist, if I got scared of it all and ran away, what would I do?

I would write. I would go into foreign affairs. I would follow plan A. I would go to a university and have no idea what to do with my life until halfway through my senior year.

That's a good life decision, that is.

This is Ramblypants time

I do love my ramblypants.
Harry Potter. Someone told me today that Harry Potter will never be just a book for me, that I can never read it without my preconcieved views about it and my larger than reality ideas of Harry's world. First, my inner Drarry fangirl says this.
They're totally right. My first impressions were nothing. I was eight. I needed something bigger than me to be a part of, and Harry was it. Harry was there for me when I needed him. I reread the books so much, because if you're having a shit day (or a shit year, in some cases) Harry Potter makes it better. That says something about a creation, if it goes on to create more and more things and becomes so much more than the original. Think of the Bible. It's a book. No big deal. Would you say that the Bible represents a lot more than a book for some people? I think it does. It's inspired art, it's made it into an awful lot of literary references, and there's a lot of people who care about it. Let's just face it...there's a lot more Harry Potter fanfiction than for the Bible. Annnd, I would love to be in this room. So. Much. Even though HBC has wayyyy too much hair. I have a lot of hair, but no amount of product and curling could make it look half the size of that. Attention hair sylist: We may spend a lot of time on the internet, but we can tell when somone's hair looks completly impossible.School...Gov isn't going well. Lit's going well, I'll have to see how I do on this big epic scary essay that's due tomorrow. Health made me get a little teary-eyed today, but I pulled it together. Gym was good, mostly because I didn't have to sweat. IR was good until I went to the bathroom and people stole my spot so that they could be gross and couple-y while I sat on the floor and noticed a weird pang in my ribs. French was...a tad ridiculous. Moreso than usual. We walked around the room and waved our hands in the air. True story.
I need to start going outside more when the weather is nice. Tomorrow, after quizbowl (assuming it's not raining) I will be going on a bike ride. Fo' Sho'.
This is for you if you think it's for you..."I mean, to be honest, I’ve never even really understood the war between nerds and popular people. Like, who do…who do…who do you guys got? ‘Umm…we’ve got George W. Bush and, like, Tom Brady.’ Oh, okay. Well, I see your George W. Bush with Bill Clinton, and I raise you an Abraham Lincoln and a Franklin Delano Roosevelt. And, I can easily see your Tom Brady with the thinking man’s football player, Tiki Barber, and I think I can raise you, hmmm, an Isaac Newton, a William Shakespeare, a Blaise Pascal, an Albert Einstein, an Immanuel Kant, an Aristotle, a Jane Austen, a Bill Gates, a Mahatma Ghandi, a Nelson Mandela, and all four Beatles. We win." John Green, of course.
Umm...I haven't gone runnning in a week...and maybe a half. Yay fitness.
Umm...Art is killing me right now. We are artists, we create your world and we destroy it and we love to do so because we want you to ask the tough questions.
Wednesday is wear pink against bullying day, or if you're the kind of person who can say "gay" in public, it's wear purple in honor of those who've comitted suicide day. I will be wearing purple. Apparently it would be too political for my school to say "Don't bully people because they're gay." So they're sayng it's alright to bully people because they're gay? I'm confused. Anyway, the city where I live isn't the most...accepting and open-minded place in the world, but it could be a lot worse.
NaNo ideas are coming along nicely. Being misunderstood and failing at relationships because of it? Yayyy! Having minor characters and sub-plotzzz (finally!) for added depth? Yay!
This is a jazzhands opportunity.

What? Why do things need titles? That's so arbitrary and meaningless!

I am feeling a little bit at odds with the universe right now, like I want some things but I'm not really sure what things they are, and the universe doesn't think that I should want those things. We have different agendas, and they never seem to coincide. I don't need them to coincide. I don't want them to coincide. I don't want to be like you, because I'm not like you.
That made no sense.
I'm okay with that not making sense.
I'm starting to think that nothing I think makes sense to anyone else.
I feel more and more obscure.
I want to run away.
I want to hide in the corner and tell stories that no one is listening to.
The people in my head, they want to get out.
They want to save the world.
I can't save the world.
I'm only expressing myself to myself.
I don't have anyone else to express myself to, do I?
You don't want to hear it.
I can hear you saying so.
Is that healthy?
I need to write more.
I refuse to give up my obsession.
You should have seen me reading Marx.
It occurs to me that I am America.
I am talking to myself again.

Goodness

One of those crazy reoccurring blog themes (the ones that are the entire reason you keep reading this drivel) is what makes something good. Not what makes people good or bad, because that's a completely different story, but what constitutes goodness or badness in creation. Machine guns? Guillotines? Books? Language? The internet? Slaughterhouse Five? Glow in the dark tape? Shakespere? Big Brother? Cars? Plays?
What makes them good or bad? Is it meaning behind them? Or social effects? Or is it sometimes a matter of who they help, what they allow to happen?
I just read another webpage with smaller type, and it was inlegibly blurry after a few seconds. I keep telling myself that my sight isn't that bad. if I say it enough, it'll be true.
Another thing I'm thinking about is dreams. I took a nap earlier today and rememberd my dream. Weirdness. But mostly, I was thinking of the other kind of drems, the kind you do or don't follow. I'm wondering what makes people choose to follow dreams and what makes dreams big or small, and mostly, I'm wondering what makes other people say what they say about people's dreams. Any ideas? Because I am curious. That is all.
We are all going.

You could say that.

Do you ever get that strange sinking feeling out of nowhere? And then you start questioning things, and then you get in that state. Not sad, but not happy, and not excited or angsty or anything that I know how to describe. It's almost separate from feelings. I remember when I was little, I would always think about death when I went swimming. It's weird, isn't it? But this is the slightly more adult version of that, that uncertainty that makes you want to draw into yourself and hide and be completely alone with your own thoughts.
I wonder what it would be like to be able to shut off your brain, or even to be able to think of one thing at a time. It would be calm, and that would be strange.
I don't want to go back to school.
Why do we bother to do anything? I get some gratification from doing some things, but why do we do other things? Are they entertaining? Is there something in our minds that tricks us into being entertained when we're really not?
Maybe I just don't understand the nature of goals and achievement.

Real titles are for losers.

Today in Art, Mr. B and I were talking about colleges. This is most of what I do in Art now, I haven't worked on my project in a couple days. Anyways, he was telling me about this college that he found that says they're the only one in the country who offers a BFA in Curating. So that sounds pretty cool. He talked about the other college I was interested in, SCAD as well. He thinks that I'm not interested in SCAD because I'm talking about it from a purely academic perspective (the price, my chances of getting in, the programs they offer). Both of us realize that if I was really in love with the place, I would not be talking like this. I would be sort of gushing, like if I saw this building.This is the City Hall in Paris. Isn't it amazing?!?! Yeah, I know it is. And it looks so pretty lit up at night, and the whole inside of it was burned during the Paris Commune (Euro connection!) so the amazing restoration people made the inside all pretty again. Now, if I was one of these people, I would be giddy about this. And look at the ceilings!
Clearly, I just need to run around the world and look at pretty buildings. Does anyone volunteer to pay for this adventure?

Anyways, that led me to thinking about things that I would be getting really excited about, in terms of career plans.

1.Any kind of fiction writing job.
2.A job where they let me touch important old stuff.
3.Making a living off of this blog.

Now that we know this, I just have to figure out what I'm going to do about it.

Let's face it

My default blog post format is a list. This is a terribly exciting list of number one things. Because I'm a winner.
Number one thing that worries me-APUSH, because I don't think we're ever going to get through it all
Number one thing that I am excited about- NaNoWriMo, because my idea is such a win. And if it wasn't for it, I would have started the thing already, but it sort of needs more time to...marinate.
Number one thing that made my day-Connie coming to Physics with me!
Number one thing that made my day yesterday- Fred telling me that my input was useful in writing this article about camp.
Number one thing that made my day the day before yesterday- Realizing that I had 199 volunteer hours over the summer.
Number one thing that I must finish tonight-My quizbowl thing. I'm presenting tomorrow, and it's...barely started. Woohoo for procrastination!
Number one thing that I must finish before Friday-My failed physics lab.....
Number one thing that I must finish sometime, preferably in the next month- That horrible story that is sort of the bane of my existence, but will not get out of my mind unless I actually finish it, and "They all died. Scar."* is not going to cut it.
Number one thing that makes me sad- Debate this year. It's just...eugh.
Number one thing that I have a one track mind about writing a bill about-Farm Subsidies. They're really really bad. Well, they're bad in the form in which they're executed in America, making corn much too cheap to grow, which causes it to be a huge part of the American diet. And then we send food to developing countries, which makes us look good, but completely ruins their economies.
Number one thing that I want people to shut up and make a decision about already- The healthcare debate.
Number one thing that I know all the freshmen will write bills about-The healthcare debate. Or there's the classic abortion bill, but I like to think that that debate might be done finally.
Number one thing that I should not be doing right now- Blogging.
*If you get that, please note that we should probably be best friends whose conversations are laced with Harry Potter references.

Kazoo

I just had this idea for a wildly interesting thing. What if you wrote something and could have a bunch of famous writers (some of whom are dead) read and critique it? There could be some sort of computer program where you could tell it to review your work the same way Ibsen would, or Poe, or Milton, or anybody.
Yeah, I'm actually awake at 7 am without anywhere to be. I'm worried too.

Contained

The reuburbia finalists are up here. You should vote for your favourite. Or you should just vote for LivaBlox. Because it's pretty awesome. Also, it promotes smaller houses, which are always a good idea.
This is a clip about somewhere they are actually being used.



Worst idea? Let them Burn. What a fail. And it uses Devil's Night as an example? Devil's Night is not about making Detroit a better place, and it doesn't help anyone.

The Interwebs

I'm thinking about the internet and how it blurs the line between fiction and reality. More specifically, I'm thinking of Paige Railstone, publishing, and John Green.
DJ Railstone intrigues me. Am I more real than she is? I, after all, am not a DJ and have never been to Estonia. Her life is probably more interesting than mine is. She has more internet presence than I do. She has more fans than I do. Is she real? Am I real? Or am I an effort by myself and the people around me to create something that fills a space? This concept is making my head spin just a little. If Milton had his own website and facebook and twitter, would he be real? If Hogwarts was a real castle with real students going to school there, might Harry Potter be real?
Publishing is interesting. I really don't think that novel legnth fiction is dead, but I think that it's changing. I think it's possible that it would be normal to read most books on a FanFiction.net type website. Everyone could publish things and make money off of them, but the ones being the most sucessful would be the ones who have the most readers, getting the most advertising revenue. I'm not sure if this site would be free to read or not, but if it was, you've got a lot of your copyright issues gone right there. Still, the idea of never having a paper book to hold and read and hi-lite (okay, I can't write in most books, but some people do) sort of bugs me. And yes, I think it's cool that the internet messes with things that have been the same, physically, for hundreds of years.
John Green makes fictional characters real. It's not his writing, although that's good. It's stuff like Omnictionary, having facebook pages for fictional people, having nerdfighters, having the school in Looking for Alaska be remarkably close to a real school. This is really cool. Authors like John Green and Jackson Pearce (although her book isn't out yet, so I have not idea how real the characters will become) feel like real people, and that is really, really cool.

Amazing

Yes, I did laugh my head off at this.And this website is about living without money. The guy is a crazy hippie, but I think he has some interesting ideas.

A very bad idea

At some point in October, I will probably have the following conversation with someone I know. If you are that someone, please respond accordingly.
Samantha: Guess what?
You: What.
Samantha: I had this great idea for my NaNoWriMo!
You: Let's hear it.
Samantha: Okay. It takes place right after the seventh book ends, but it disregards the whole epilogue.
You: You're writing a novel length Harry Potter fanfic?
Samantha: It'll be awesome, I know. Anyways, it's going to be right after the seventh, and it's going to be this angsty DMHP thing going. It'll start out with Harry feeling like he has no more purpose, because he's already defeated Voldemort, and then Draco will be regretting everything he did during the war, and then they'll meet and have this sort of reconciling, where they realized that they have no reason to be hating each other. And the-
You: Samantha, this is a really dumb idea.
Samantha: What, do you have a better one?
You: Yeah. Remember Milton? Isn't he awesome?
Samantha: Well...yeah. But the real problem with Milton is that he never talks to anyone.
You: That's because he's the only character.
Samantha: That's his fault, not mine.
You: What? Just give him some friends.
Samantha: The whole book is supposed to be happening in Milton's head.
You: Do you ever listen to yourself and realize that you sometimes sound kind of dumb?
Samantha: Do you ever listen to yourself and realize that you're a bitch?
You: Ouch.
Samantha: Sorry mate.
You: You can't pull off saying "mate".
Samantha: This is why I need to write a novel length fanfic.
You: It'll sound bad in that too.
Samantha: It's just that...
You: What?
Samantha: The world needs another ridiculous Harry Potter pairing.
You: The world just doesn't need you to write it. What you need to do is spend some quality time with Milton. You aren't writing a DMHP fic. It will end badly. They always do. Go read some, and notice that they always end the same way, and it will never be good.

Readers, I know what you're asking. You're wondering why I must be stopped. Here's why.

Everything felt surreal. He had defeated Voldemort two weeks ago, and the very idea of that seemed impossible to Harry. He had wondered, for a very long time, weather this would ever happen, and here it was. It had happened. He had won, and now he didn't know how to react. He'd imagined this before, he'd thought of how he would win, what everyone would think of it, what everyone would do. The one thing he hadn't imagined about it was what he was supposed to do afterwards. What happens when you're the boy who lived, you're the one who was alive mainly so he could save everyone from Voldemort, and Voldemort's dead? What are you after that?
Ever since the night he won, Harry had taken to wandering the corridors at Hogwarts. It was a strange sort of nostalgia that he had for the school. This was where he was first exposed to magic, where he had met everyone he knew, where he had saved Sirius, where he had watched Dumbledore die. Hogwarts was his home more than anywhere else, and now that he didn't need to stay there anymore, where was he supposed to go? He couldn't go back to the Dursleys', even if he wanted to. He couldn't go to the Burrow, he would feel wrong, butting in on their family right now. He could go to Sirius' house. No, his house. This was a good idea, at least he could be alone there, he wouldn't have to be around the people who were so amazed with him. Yes, that was what he would do, go spend some time at his home. He started on his way up to Gryffindor tower to gather his things.
~~~~~
Draco was walking down the corridor, contemplating everything he had done. He had killed. That one word, killer almost defined him. And he didn't know if he wanted to do it. Ever since he had become a Death Eater, he didn't know if he had done anything that he really wanted to. And now, now the Dark Lord was dead. He didn't have to do what someone else wanted, but at the same time, he couldn't do whatever he wanted. He couldn't betray the other supporters, but he had no desire to be one of them.
"Malfoy" A voice said. Draco looked up and saw Harry walking in front of him. Out of all the people who could still be at Hogwarts, Draco didn't expect Harry to be one of them. Harry hadn't even turned around, he was still walking, looking at the stone walls with fascination, as if he had never seen them before.
"Potter" Draco quickened his pace, while Harry slowed his until they were walking beside one another.
"It's weird, isn't it? Weird to still be here, when everyone has left." Draco was rather astonished, it seemed as though Harry wanted to have an actual conversation, not just throwing around accusations and curses.
"Not that weird for me. For you, it's weird that the Weasel and Mudblood aren't here."
"They're off celebrating, I guess. Well, not really. Ron's brother died, so that puts a bit of a damper on the festivities."
"Ah." Draco paused, staring at the floor "I've been wondering why you did it."
"Why I did what?"
"Why you were so set on killing the Dark Lord."
"I didn't have a choice."
"You always have a choice to make." Draco responded, almost instantaneously.
"Okay, then why did you choose to be with Voldemort?"
"I was meant to. It's a family thing. And really, it didn't seem that bad."
Harry chuckled and immedietly regretted it when he saw the look on Draco's face. "How can Voledmort not seem that bad?"
"We had the same goal as you did, Potter. The only difference is that you won."
They were silent for a bit.
~~~~~
Harry had never thought that their goals were anything alike. The Order wanted to preserve peace, to keep people safe, to let the muggles live. Voldemort wanted to kill people ruthlessly and seize control.
"No." Harry said softly, and then a little louder. "No, no they don't. We stood for everything good and you stood for just trying to topple that. I understand asking for forgiveness, but saying that your people were just as good as mine were is just ridiculous and wrong."
Draco was abnormally calm. "But what if we had won? What would you be saying then, if history was viewing us in a better light, if we were the ones writing the history books? You would be wishing you were on the winning side, Potter.
~~~~~

If you actually read all of that, I am very sorry. The reason I need people like you is to prevent me from doing stupid stuff.

Just. Just... Nothing.

I want to do this if I grow up. I feel like it's like running away, like just pulling a Margo Roth Spegielman and just leaving and not turning back and it sounds so wonderful and free and right now, that is what I want to do. And that's why what I'm saying makes no sense, is because that kind of free is too hard to say.
And now I'm in school and then we're going to have summer and then I'm going to be a counselor and that is going to be pimpin' and I'm really excited about it. And I'm glad that I'll have something to do this summer.
Have we mentioned my extreme fear of 11th grade and how that relates to college and the future and how they want me to make concrete plans that don't involve leaving and never turning back.
I don't really want to go to college. But I'll probably end up going anyways, because that's what you do.
I'm having a sudden flashback to Accepted, when he says he doesn't want to go to college, then his mom says that you have to go to college, because that's what you have to do, that's the way that the world works.
Okay. I have this friend who says some things a lot ("Brown Kids", "Retard") and during school today, she was saying this. Then someone wanted her to stop saying brown kid, and then I said that getting her to stop saying brown kid is like getting her to stop saying retard, it's never going to happen, and then like three people attacked me for saying retard. And it bugged me, because I didn't say it like that, but whatever. It's done.
I need to get working on my euro project. I'm thinking that I haven't been working during class because class is not in the middle of the night. That's pretty much when I work best.
Eshwar says that he's the coolest kid ever. I'm not sure if I agree. He's in my personal bubble. Justin wants a mention too. Not my brother. The other one.

Meat

I should be doing my Bio homework, but instead I'm explaining to myself why meat causes so many problems. This is one of those dumb ideas that will be funny later. Trust me.

Problems caused by meat

• World Hunger
• Bird Flu
• Pig Flu
• Genocide in Rawanda
• HIV/AIDS

Someone is going to say this is irrational. I could explain it, but I'd like to hear your explanations for the connections first.
I'm really not crazy. I promise.

Weekend!

It's Friday.
I like this part of the school year. I've finally gotten used to everything, it's getting warmer, I'm getting hyper, it's all good. Then it ends, because that's the way the world works.
I spent last night at a school board meeting. They were talking about cutting any programs that make school good, but not sports. Most of us will go on to be professional athletes, so clearly sports are the most important parts of our education. Fortunately, the arts people organized and a bunch of them got up to talk. Most of them were better speakers than the adults, which I think says something about the lasting skills that things like drama and broadcasting and debate give you.
I'm taking my driving test tomorrow, assuming there isn't another epic equipment failure like there was on Wednesday.
What would be the most interesting time period to live in? I've decided that it's either the Enlightenment or WWII. We've been talking about this for a while, and I feel that one of the fundamental questions is whether you're born when you were actually born and have some knowledge of the time period, or are you a person who was actually born in that time, not knowing what will happen next. I think I'd prefer to be born now and time travel. It's good to know what's happening next and be able to see the bigger picture. Honestly, I think that's the main problem with the government, is that they'll never know for sure how their actions will affect the future until it's too late to change anything.
I'm considering buying a new pair of Chuck Taylors. What colour should I get?
I'm asking myself why we bother with all of this. This strange society that we've just constructed for ourselves, that we put so much effort into. Why? Why do we have it, why do we need it? If it was abolished, putting humans back at the beginning of our history, would we turn into the same thing we are now? What if we had the same technology that we have now, but less people and no government?
I want to find a good answer for "Why Europe?". Somebody put it on the summer list.
I have no idea what I want to do if I grow up. However, I do know what my house will look like. Next time I can't think of anything to blog about, I'll tell you. It will be trippy. But not, you know, that kind of trippy. Because that would be wrong.
I looked up someone on Facebook who I never expected to find, but then....they were there. It was weird/shocking. Nah, shocking is too strong a word. I need to learn more adjectives.
Why do I spend so much time thinking of the future? It's the only thing that I can think about and think about without ever getting tired of it. Why is the concept of me in five, ten, twenty years so interesting?
This makes me ashamed to be human. Please, just remember that things that you say that don't seem like a big deal really are to the person on the other end of it.

Things I learned from Wikipedia

The Russian government decided that their weapon of choice against Estonia is spam. Cyberwar? Why didn't anyone tell me about this when it happened?
Koni has a larger page than Barney and a much larger page than Miss Beazly.
Florence Harding is in the running for most interesting underrated first lady. And Eleanor Roosevelt was not the only lesbian first lady, Rose Cleveland (okay, not the president's wife) was too.
Apparently there has to be an organization with a fancy name for a total of six operating "Intentional Communities" This and this one with the stupid name are worth checking out.
Autonomous buildings are a sort of captivating idea, mostly because the Dymaxion House is one, and you know how I feel about that.
Human scale is a pretty obvious concept that did not need a wikipedia page.
One of the first Car Free Days was in Reykjavík. They really like fireworks and have the largest geothermal heating and cooling system in the world.
And the Dubai Police Force prints their email addresses on their cars.
And there's pirates in the news. Next, you'll hear about zombies, unicorns, ninjas, and warewolves uniting to free the guy being held captive.

Well You Know...

I've just been thinking. As you should know, I think purely in bullet points.

• Birthdays. Ibsen, Quizbowl Coach, Great-Grandfather, Andrea. Epic.
• Hot, Flat, and Crowded. I've been reading it, but I'm only about fifty pages in. It's pretty interesting. Basically, we need to reduce our energy consupmtion, because India is going to start consume as much as us very soon, except they have a much higher population. We will be screwed then.
• Anna Karenina. I have 200 pages left. SO. CLOSE.
• Oops. In Euro, we have these unit plans things, and I had gotten mine all togetherand finished it during class so I could turn it in...and then I walked out with it. I realized it when I got to my locker, but by then it was a choice between maybe making it on the bus or taking it back to the classroom. She'll accept it tomorrow, right? Hopefully.
• Knitting. I haven't been doing much of it lately. Probably because I spend too much time blogging, you know?
• Youtube. It has been at least two weeks since I have watched a fivevlogginggirls video. Do you understand how distressing that is? I am making a video today.
• Sleep. Something strange has happened to my sleep patterns. I fell asleep at 3:00 and woke up at 7:00.
• My dad. He is currently having a conference call with all of my aunts. He is very good at projecting his voice, because everyone needs to hear every detail of his side of the call. Thanks.
• Hupix. This is a greatly underused word. It means something along the lines of situation or predicament. "Samantha, you're in quite the hupix."

It's Disappointing

I'm trying to keep the It's trend going for as long as possible.
You ever have one of those days that just feels like "Blurgh. Blah." Yes. Today is one of those days. Because I'm a procrastinator, let's make a list. Who doesn't love a list?

Things I thought about at lunch

• Time machines and unexisting yourself
• How hilariously awesome it would be to have a Delorean. I believe I have blogged about this before.
• How to overthrow the dictatorship of Euro
• Who I am and who I want to be.
• Why I really should be in charge of the big 3 and/or the state of Alaska
• Oh. I have to make a video today.
  

Clearly, three of these rise to a new level of interesting that is worthy of writing about.
One thing that thoroughly complicates time travel is the fact that you have a very large possibility of unexisting yourself. This would be the unwanted outcome, unless you had a suicide wish, but didn't want to hurt your friends and family. In that case, it might work well. If we were using the timeturner method of time travel, then unexisting yourself would be utterly impossible, because it would have already happened, you wouldn't exist in the first place.
Time travel is pretty cool.
I've been thinking of overthrowing Euro for a while now. The real problem with this is when. I don't think that the teacher would really appreciate us using all our knowledge of various government types against her, but it would be so fun. I would say that we should do it after the AP test, but she still has control over all of our grades...so...that may be bad if she took it the wrong way.
Who I am and who I want to be is something that I think about a lot. A lot as in...all the freeking time. I think it's a topic worthy of about ten blog posts, so you may be seeing more of it in the future. I want to be responsible. I want to be smart.
The real problem is that I can't find my way from point A to point B.

It's me

I'm back. I think this recent posting drought may be the longest I have gone without posting something. That's a little sad, considering I didn't do much of anything. I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately, but I have no idea why.
You know me better than a lot of people who know me in the sense that they see me on a regular basis, that they talk to me. I kind of think of this blog as what would happen if you stuck a camera in my head and took some random shots. I write what comes to my mind, what bugs me, what freaks me out, whatever.
Is it sad that I tell more on here than I do to people I actually...know?